Here's a quick sketch I submitted to Newsjack this week following the theft of the Bahlsen sculpture by someone dressed as the cookie monster. In hindsight it was probably a bit, childish for the show and also maybe bit old hat (not forgetting unfunny)but, I'll keep trying!!

HOST:This week we heard that lovable children's T.V. character the Cookie monster, was involved in the theft of a 100 year old sculpture mounted outside the gates of German biscuit manufacturer Bahlsen. The team here at Newsjack went to find out why?

F/X:We hear music in the back ground that would feature on a crime drama to add tension. Footsteps in gravel can be heard.

COUNT:Well, if it isn't my old friend the cookie monster. Do you have the Bahlsen sculpture?

MONSTER:Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Cookie monster have sculpture. Can Cookie monster have cookies now?

COUNT:All in good time but, first the sculpture.

FX:We hear a Glissando.

COUNT:Ah, it's beautiful

MONSTER: Cookie monster needs cookies now! Cookie monster loves cookies.

COUNT: Yes, of course but, first we must, count the cookies.

MONSTER:Cookie monster trusts count. Cookie monster just want eat cookies!

COUNT:Come, let us count. One, ah, ah, ah. Two, ah, ah...

FX:We hear the sound of glass smashing

OFFICEROLICE, PUT YOUR HANDS IN THE AIR!! Count, you're under arrest. Cuff him boys.

FX:We hear the sound of handcuffs being put on.

COUNT:Why? What for? Ah, Ah, Ah.

FX:We hear the sound of the Sesame Street theme tune playing in the background.

OFFICER:Today's arrest was brought to you by the letters O for organised crime and E for extortion. You do not have to say anything but, it may harm your defence if you do not mention something you later rely on in court. Anything you do say may be given in evidence.

COUNTouble crossed by my oldest friend. Cookie monster why?

OFFICER:Here you go Mr. Monster. Thanks for keeping up your side of the bargain.

FX:We hear the sound of a paper bag being ruffled.

MONSTER: Cookie monster loves cookies. Ah, num, num, num

END

I liked the use of an off-beat story and don't see it as too childish per se (NJ seems to have at least one silly voice/animal/goblin sketch every week). It's pleasingly familiar and I laughed out load at the line "Cookie monster trusts count. Cookie monster just want eat cookies!" But the double-cross twist at the end/2nd half doesn't cut it for me.

Though it was pretty good. E for extortion, though?

Maybe I for informer.