Hi

I have just submitted my first sketch to NewsJack. I know it's a bit late for feedback when it's already gone, but would be nice to see what people think.

I have broad shoulders so if you think it's s**t do tell me.

Removed because I am a bit of a numpty. Thanks for feedback given anyway!

i liked it, funny. Nice and tight.

It's a very funny concept and a good script! I thought it was a bit wordy at the start and could maybe get to the point quicker but that's just my preference. Made me laugh!

It's a funny idea and pretty well done with a good punch. However, satnav sketches are quite common and, funny though this is, it doesn't stand out from others enough for me. Cameron's opening line is really long without a laugh and you don't need it. Get into the sketch later and it would be better.

As an aside, I wouldn't post NJ submissions on here until you know they aren't being used. I haven't anything other than my own feelings to go on, but if I was making a topical comedy show I wouldn't want any of it posted on the internet first, irrespective of how many/few people might read it.

Sounds like you are talking plagiarism there buddy. The best advice I have ever seen on here. As any writer should know, not all readers have respect for others hard work.

Quote: Nigel Ball @ February 11 2013, 7:06 PM GMT

Sounds like you are talking plagiarism there buddy. The best advice I have ever seen on here. As any writer should know, not all readers have respect for others hard work.

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As it happens I wasn't thinking about plagiarism.

Quote: Badge @ February 11 2013, 6:51 PM GMT

As an aside, I wouldn't post NJ submissions on here until you know they aren't being used. I haven't anything other than my own feelings to go on, but if I was making a topical comedy show I wouldn't want any of it posted on the internet first, irrespective of how many/few people might read it.

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This.

I only post stuff on Critique if the writing has been constantly rejected, is not really suitable for use anywhere, or is simply not good enough.

Whoever eventually decides to use the material (podcasts, magazines, production companies - paid or unpaid), is not going to have wanted already posted on this forum. It removes the exclusivity of the material, and worse still, might lead to false plagiarism accusations against them from those who don't realise its from the same creator.

Ah, my bad. Schoolboy error. I can see why it's best not to post it before its been rejected . Thanks for the feedback anyway.

I see what you mean about the start. I had already cut it down but it could do with more trimming.