1970s styled skit needs a little reworking Page 2

Seems like it's been written by a random line generator. Example below.

Reginald: Why hello Henry you homosexual that I admire for being true to yourself in a totally not 1970's stereotyped way.

Somewhere buried deep within that line buried deep in the middle of some other exchanges it seems like there's a point being made about 1970s asexual camp characters vs blokes that actually have sexual relations with other blokes. There's an obvious counterpoint to be made about lecherous double-entendre spouting old men like Reg being far more acceptable in the Seventies than they are now. Unfortunately the line itself isn't intrinsically funny, in lieu of a punchline we have "Hello Reg", and nothing else in the script even slightly alludes to Henry's sexuality.

Whoever ends up writing/rewriting needs to (i) think more about making something that flows something like an actual conversation and (ii) make sure that the observations they're looking to make about Seventies sitcom are actually made. That would make a more compelling script even without adding actual jokes.

Just so you guys know, I write the sketches myself. Because comedy is my thing not my parents. I don't even have them as facebook friends. I don't want them interfering. Granted this sketch isn't my best, that's why I submitted it for a critique.

Also enigmatic, that is very helpful information, I will see what can be made :}

Quote: Carlos Manwelly @ November 3 2012, 9:57 PM GMT

Hi Rebekka, did you write the sketch yourself?

I did indeed, it's not my best I do admit but I am still learning.

Hi Rebekka, hope you don't think I wasn't having a go at your writing style, it was that you seemed very vague about it the script that's all

I am still learning as well, and have picked up loads of tips from this site, I probably need to learn some critique etiquette

That's okay Carlos :} , to be honest I don't really like this one, it doesn't have anything going for it.
In terms of me writing it, I take my comedy very seriously and I was initially annoyed that people would assume that I would brake a major comedy rule.

Well now that is cleared up I look forward to seeing more of your sketches.