If you would take a gander and use your candid words that would be lovely.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zF7i6nSUhu8&feature=plcp

Not at all bad but you deffo need more of a persona and you can see how your snappier note confident jolres do better

What made you think I was 14? That is the trouble with the internet. Thanks for the feedback and I am looking to edit the material to make it less clunky and also looking at my performance skills.

Just note your quicker snappier gags with no explanation get the laughs

Well thanks for the dig re 14 yr old.

I rather liked it, you certainly made a couple of gags I didn't really go for in your other post work onstage.

Like Sooty, I think I preferred the more joke-based material, rather than the anecdotal stuff, but overall I found it light and entertaining.

Thanks Gappy that's useful and interesting that you found some of the jokes worked on stage. I have found that currently when performing the anecdotal story about the birthday party gets the best reaction live which surprises me as when I wrote it I was very sceptical.

Thought delivery was good. Agree with others that jokes better than anecdotes - but I think with editing the anecdotal stuff would be better.

I really liked it funniest joke for me was probably the taste the difference gag.. Good start though a small edit could maybe get you there slightly quicker.
You seemed confident and naturally won the audience over so well done.
How often do you do stand up?

Everything could always use a small edit and tweak here and there, but I thought it was a great routine, flowed into the next bit very well, put a call back or two in there, they are always great... For your delivery style, I would say put the mic in a stand and your hands in your pockets, or at least your empty hand in pocket and bring it out to accentuate points... But over all, I liked it, you're better than some on TV

Thanks guys lovely comments I was on a comedy downer so just what I needed for the ego boost. I have been going a couple of years but only get to gig every couple of weeks so I am happy with my progress so far.

I will take on board the delivery comments especially the one about hand in my pocket thanks for that Dave.

Cheers
James

just saw and thought it was very good. Really excellent delivery. Hope you keep going as you appear to be very talented.

Very natural delivery, some of the gags a bit hit and miss, but definitely worth perservering!

Quote: sootyj @ November 19 2012, 10:35 PM GMT

Not at all bad but you deffo need more of a persona

View original

Agreed. You appeared confident and natural but there wasn't quite enough energy (not that you should fake having energy). I guess it's one of those things that'll come with practice. You came across well though.

Nice material. Maybe needs a little trim here and there, but good.

Enjoyed.