Starkey D

A BIG LIMO PULLS UP. CAMERA SHOT OF DAVID WINDING DOWN THE WINDOW. DAVID HAS SHADES AND SOME BLING.

David: Starkey D, Starkey D
Tat's what dem motherf**kers call me...
I'm the Enoch Powell, who looks like an owl
Who's being prodded in the butt by Simon Cowell.

DAVID GETS OUT THE LIMO NEXT TO A DJ.
THERE ARE SOME BREAK-DANCERS TOO.

With my hip hop skillz I can chat about Tudors.
I got a real hate for dem chavs and ruders.
They are ruining society with their nihilistic ways
Give me different strokes, and I'll mess up your face.

MORE BREAK DANCER ARRIVE,
PLUS SOME RASTAFARIANS AND A LADY CARRYING A POT OF SEAFOOD STEW. DAVID WRINKLES HIS NOSE UP AND SWATS AT HER.

Get that gunk away from me, jus' give it up.
You couldn't spot a beaker from a Doulton tea cup.
I'm a racist old bastard, come what may
And I'll say it again, I say....

Monaaaaaaaarchy in the UuuuuuukkK!

DAVID STARKEY WAKES UP IN BED SWEATING.

More surreal than funny, but funny because it's surreal.

That gave me a bigger happy grin then a surprise flash of some boobies

Haha, it had to be done.