What do you think;

i consider myself quite a knowledgeable person but not about things I don't know.

Got into an argument the other day someone accused me of stealing some trousers, I said they're not jeans they're mine.

Got a few more...

Well carry on then, but only if you can maintain that kind of standard...

Do you really think they are good?

Slept like a log last night, turned the lights out couldn't breathe (photosynthesis)

Yes yes, come on... Like runny butter, don't stop when you're on a roll! (sarcasm)

I was playing that game hot potato the other day but I played it with a plate of jelly, talk about throwing a wobbly!

Could do with some trimming:

Someone accused me of stealing some trousers. I said they're not jeans, they're mine.

I was playing that game hot potato, but I played it with a plate of jelly. Talk about throwing a wobbly.

My thoughts anyway.

They seem a bit cringe-worthy to me.

what does that mean?

Quote: Sam Trott @ January 23 2011, 12:45 PM GMT

what does that mean?

View original

It's basically a nice way of saying shit.

well everyones entitled to their own opinion

They're too wordy and a bit obscure (what is the game "hot potato"? And what relevance does that have to the punchline?)

I would reword them thus;

Someone asked me if my trousers were jeans, I said "No, they're mine".

He then attacked me with a jelly, talk about throwing a wobbly.

Still not exactly Tim Vine or Milton Jones standard but they get to the funny much quicker and without any unnecessary faff.

Any words which don't add to the joke subtract from it, once you've written a joke see if you can take out as many words as possible whilst still retaining the essence of the joke.

Brevity. Sole. Wit.

Listen to Bob and Tony.

Those lines wouldn't raise a smile in a lottery winners queue.

Just sayin'

Skoob.

I'd like to just say to Sam that those lines, if rewritten, are not entirely without value, but you need to keep writing (and then re-writing and editing).

Gary Delaney, who's probably one of the best gag writers in the country, once told me that for every joke he writes that makes it into his set he probably throws away at least 10 to 20.

So, to produce a 5 minute one-liner set (approx. 20 jokes) you can see that you need to write a huge amount of jokes because there will be an enormous amount of wastage.

jokes that are so bad there funny, I aint going to slate these cause it would be like critising a childs drawing, I think people should take these as they are.

i was walking down the street when someone threw some cheese at me, I thought:-that's mature!!!

i was at the train station the other day when a giant number 3 dropped on my head I thought:-that's odd.

hahahahah......so so bad!!! Christmas cracker comedy!! most times its about the delivery anyway.

thanks