quick idea for radio sketches that play on the medium itself.... possibly. bad feedback welcome.

Cheers

Narrator: And now; how not to right a sketch for radio.

Doctor: So Mr smith what can I do for you?

Patient: Well Doctor, it hurts.

Doctor: What hurts?

Patient: It Hurts

Doctor: Well pop your trousers off and we’ll have a look. So where does It hurt?

Patient: There

Doctor: What Here?

Patient: No There

Doctor: There?

Patient: There

Doctor: Oh There

Patient: Ooooh! Yeah, that’s It There

Doctor: I see, and how long has It hurt?

Patient: About this long

Doctor: Oh, that long

Patient: No This long.

Doctor: Oh I see, and do you know how you did It?

Patient: I can’t remember

Doctor: Oh you don’t know?

Patient: No. I can’t remember.

Doctor: Well, I’m going to prescribe a dose of this

Patient: Oh that

Doctor: No this

Patient: Oh This, and how often do I take this?

Doctor: What this? Just take one now, one then, and one at this time. Ok?

Patient: When?

Doctor: Here

Patient: Oh then

Doctor: Yes Then

Patient: Well thank you Doctor.

Doctor: Who Me?

Patient: No You

Doctor: Don’t you want your trousers?

Patient: No. It’s Radio they can’t see me.

Doctor: Oh good that means I can leave mine off.

love it love it love it...want to collaborate? Fantastic.

Reminds me of a sketch of (saturday night fry) where their reviewing a actor and all they get is silent films and one where he plays a mute.

(oh just thought not suggesting plag- )

anyway, i think you get i like it.

I enjoyed this a lot. I don't think you need to have the characters actually acknowledge they're on the radio at the end though - opening the sketch the way you do will work fine.

Not sure you need the introduction .... since the basic comic tone is repetition and most radio listeners are highly aware of the 'limits' (actually possibilies)..think you would still get the joke ...perhaps one more repetition in a different form would lengthen it enough to give the space for moment of recognition that this is joke about jokes on radios

ie:
could you pass me that..
what this
no that ....etc

or (although maybe a corny and 'end of pier')

now just brace yourself
hang on where are going to put that
this
yes that
up there
oh that's ok then.

esp.like how long has it hurt - this long? very milligan very goons

right i'll stop posting now before you have to buy some german shepherds to guard your home...

oh post overlapp - did not see what david said....however i think a less self conscious final reveal is funnier. and the end line is just funnier

I liked this. I think David pretty much nailed how it should be executed.

Yes must say Mathew Sillett that is one of the best sketches I have read on here for a while. Very good. Thought of sending it to the Writers room at the BBC ?.

Agree with David, don't think you need to acknowledge they are on radio at the end, that is self evident.. To me it 'feels' better if you leave that bit out, but excellent stuff.

Yep a good one. It's good as it is but the changes suggested would still leave it a good sketch. What mainly makes it good for me is the exchanges throughout and the pace of those exchanges.

Yet another sketch that crosses over into the Two Ronnies. Excellent value and very funny into the bargain. Oh, and by the way, I agree with KP and David.

Spooky I left a comment on here this morning about 8.00am and now it's gone. I mentioned the Two Ronnies feel and said it was a good sketch too.

Who nicked my post? Lock all the doors!!!

Aaron deleted one of mine yesterday... (I reckon )

rousing chorus: "pity he didn't delete a few more of yours"

Love the sketch btw. It's very Goons in the way that Milligan keeps introducing bizarre elements into the script and continually disrupting the listener's mental picture. The missing trousers at the end is very reminiscent of great Goons' moments.

However, imo, this style needs to be handled economically to avoid it becoming too vaudeville / variety. The writer skates close to the edge at times with the amount of repeated back and forths so maybe cut one or two of the repeated "where?" "There." "No, here." sections (Not a perfect transcript of what I mean but you get the drift) to avoid repeating a good idea too much.

But that's only a 'maybe'. I think it is an exceptional sketch as it stands.

Re: The missing post. Nothing devious occurred. It was me Blenks - there were two threads opened by mistake so I closed the one that had least comments to avoid confusion ... but I only caused more.

Apols.

No problem SlagA just glad I'm not senile yet

Enjoyed this too. Very natural comic writing. Though for me the end doesn't quite satisfy after the quality of the build-up.

thanks everyone for the feed back, didn't expect such a good response. will try and tighten up the ending and do a rewrite. thanks for the support.
cheers

that's exactly what the plan is Jason Kindred of England. a sketch show focused around the do's (and more importantly) dont's of radio.
likeliness is it won't work and i'll run out of material after three sketches.... ah well.