Tip Of The Day

My tip of the day?

Don't forget to wash your hands after using the toilet.

Anyone else have any?

Don't use your blackberry whilst driv...............dbujfnujrbtaspq[sxxnxps AGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHH!

;)

If it smells good, eat it.

Except if it's soap.

When eating a bowl of soup make sure you leave a small piece of bread until you've finished so you can mop up the residual soup, like that no washing up is necessary and you've got your money's worth out of the soup.

Cloves are a natural way of getting rid of ants.

An easy way to remember England's 2010 World Cup Group is to use the acronym U.S.A. - USA, Slovenia and Algeria.

Don't wash your hands whilst using the bathroom.

Don't listen to the voices telling you to show your penis to your fellow commuters. Also don't shout at said voices.

A microwave is not a quick and efficent way to dry one's hair!

If you have to venture out in your pants, do NOT drive past schools. If there is no alternative route possible, certainly do not drive at the legal 20 MPH Limit.

If you tend to put the milk back in the cupboard and the sugar in the fridge, do not sharpen pencils whilst urinating.

If you find yourself on top of a large building fighting a demigod in a shiny leotard and she asks if you're a god, say yes.

Don't install a bugler alarm when you've been given the wrong type of ladder.

This one's just for Mrs Worthington: Don't put your daughter on the stage.

Never work with children or animals - especially if you're in the porn industry.

Wear sunscreen.