It's an old format I know but I have to get the brain churning somehow.

A ROMANTIC CANDLE LIT DINNER DAN IS ENJOYING HIS MAIN COURSE JAN WATCHES SMILING GENTLY.

DAN:
This is delicious, very subtle but with great texture what is it.

JAN:
Hmm? Oh it’s only chopped liver.

DAN:
I don’t normally like liver what’s different about this?

JAN:
It’s human liver with a merlot and pepper sauce.

DAN STOPS EATING AND PUTS HIS FORK DOWN.

DAN:
Human liver?

JAN:
Yes, Colin from next door. I strangled him while he slept and removed all of his best bits.

DAN:
I feel sick.

JAN:
(Laughing) Got you Dan, you must think I am so cruel.

DAN:
(Relieved) For a second you really had me.

DAN TUCKS IN TO HIS LIVER AGAIN.

JAN:
I’d never use Merlot for a sauce and you know it.

Merlot? You've been watching Sideways.

Nicely done, though.

I thought that this was rather good.

One very minor point: Unless you need to dont have the names as Jan and Dan, far too difficult for me to focus at this time in the morning.

How about Stan and Fran?

The punch is pretty obvious (it had to be that or "actually it's Stuart from number eighteen") and the dialogue doesn't feel very natural. Sorry not to be more positive but this one's for the drawer I reckon.

Hence the first line i.e old format.

Merlot is far too obvious and Mrs. Fortran lives at number eighteen and is on holiday.

I like it, though as David says the dialogue isnt very natural, unless they were to be very upper class in which case it could work and might make the Merlot bit better at the end. If you also poshed up the dialogue I think it would be really good.

A did not have a problem with the dialogue, but it is a little obvious.