British Comedy Guide
Comedy writer? Stand-up comedian? Looking to progress? Join BCG Pro

I read the news today oh boy! Page 3,004

Quote: Alfred J Kipper @ 15th June 2025, 10:52 AM

How long have you got?

Northern Ireland riots still going on, with same response from this govt as the Southport riots - 'You are vile racist scum and you'll be jailed.' No mention from them of the schoolgirl victim of attempted rape. Can't say that, it's racist, which is a far bigger crime than rape now! 🤔

Wouldn't it be wiser to take a look at life from a community's viewpoint, for a change? A longstanding local community that's had male dominated foreign migrants with very different cultural and social norms forced on them, without a word of consultation. This cycle of violent protest flaring up after such incidents is going to go on and on until our leaders wise up and recognise the real problems mass immigration causes.

Maybe men are the problem, Alfred, since statistically speaking the majority of crimes are committed by men. Let's face, we're a dangerous gender that does immense damage to society each year with our murdering, raping, child abusing and hooliganing.

Quote: zooo @ 15th June 2025, 11:40 AM

Biden actually had asthma, whereas Donald's dad paid a doctor to say he had bone spurs.

Donald would have almost certainly been 'accidentally' shot in the back by one of his own side if he had ever served.

On his big special day yesterday, millions of people turned out at "No Kings" protest marches in nearly 2,000 cities across the U.S. - to tell him to FUCK OFF

Quote: lofthouse @ 15th June 2025, 12:15 PM

On his big special day yesterday, millions of people turned out at "No Kings" protest marches in nearly 2,000 cities across the U.S. - to tell him to FUCK OFF

It's what lefties do when they don't get their own way.

Yeah approx 20,000 turned up to his little parade (he fell asleep half way through)

And nearly ten million American "lefties" protested against the dementia riddled old shit bag!

He's probably getting ready to pardon the registered Republican, right wing lunatic that just murdered two democrat politicians in their own homes the other day

That's what far right criminals do

P.s Elon Musk tweeted to millions of people all over the planet insinuating that Trump is a pedo

Trump is one of the most litigious politicians on the planet

So why isn't he suing Musk??

Hmmmmmmmmm....

How odd

Quote: zooo @ 15th June 2025, 11:40 AM

Biden actually had asthma, whereas Donald's dad paid a doctor to say he had bone spurs.

Neither of those assertions are verifiable. Biden's autobiography is replete with stories of his athletic prowess and his stint as a lifeguard, but there is no mention of asthma. The earliest mention of asthma came in 1987 as he was running for president and realized that he'd need to explain his deferments. Similarly, the only source of info about the bone spur story comes from the children of a long-deceased podiatrist who rented his office from Trump's father, and they never mentioned any money changing hands.

Tens of millions of Americans tried their best to stay out of the unpopular war in Vietnam.

Do I believe that Joe Biden gamed the system to avoid the draft? Yes.

Do I believe that Donald Trump gamed the system to avoid the draft? Yes.

Do I believe that one of them deserves scorn while the other does not? No.

Quote: chipolata @ 15th June 2025, 12:04 PM

Donald would have almost certainly been 'accidentally' shot in the back by one of his own side if he had ever served.

That's a rather ridiculous statement to make.

Quote: lofthouse @ 15th June 2025, 2:18 PM

Yeah approx 20,000 turned up to his little parade (he fell asleep half way through)

And nearly ten million American "lefties" protested against the dementia riddled old shit bag!

Interesting that you'll take one organization's attendance figure as gospel, but not the other's. CNN says that "hundreds of thousands" attended the protests, and the administration says that 200,000 people attended the parade that was threatened by rain.

The parade attendance was probably about 40,000 according to non-aligned sources, and protest attendance was likely 1 to 1.5 million at most. It would take 3.4 million to even hit the minuscule 1% of the population mark, so literally a drop in the bucket.

In my city (the 7th-largest in the country) of 1.5 million people, law enforcement reported a turnout of "more than 1,000" people. San Antonio votes strongly Democrat and the population is two-thirds Hispanic, so the turnout for an anti-Trump/anti-deportation event was quite underwhelming.

Quote: DaButt @ 15th June 2025, 4:24 PM

Interesting that you'll take one organization's attendance figure as gospel, but not the other's.

One of those sides lies about everything!

Quote: zooo @ 15th June 2025, 4:27 PM

One of those sides lies about everything!

And so does the other. It's politics.

Quote: DaButt @ 15th June 2025, 4:30 PM

And so does the other. It's politics.

Exactly. In this country as well as yours.

Just seen clips of Trump's military parade

Absolutely hilarious!

A couple of tanks with squeaky wheels trundle down the street being watched by a small smattering of bored onlookers

They estimated 200,000 people were going to show up to Rapey McBonespurs show of dictatorial show of force! Not even remotely close.

Rows and rows of empty seats....😂

And trump sat there with a face like thunder, boredom and humiliation etched all over his greasy orange mug, next to his miserable trophy wife

It was a pathetic embarrassment

The Russians must be quaking in their boots

Quote: lofthouse @ 16th June 2025, 10:42 AM

A couple of tanks with squeaky wheels trundle down the street

Those were tanks from WWII because the parade was celebrating the Army's history on its 250th birthday. There were also several dozen of the latest tanks, dozens of armored fighting vehicles, and dozens of the world's most advanced aircraft. Something like 200 vehicles and aircraft in total. But you knew that already, so I guess your displeasure means that you would've liked an even more massive display of military might?

As for the Russians, they've spent more than three years trying to defeat a country a tenth of their size that's armed with our hand-me-down weapons and aircraft. The Russians are obviously scared of our military might, or they wouldn't scream about RED LINES every time we deliver a new weapon system to Ukraine.

British parades seem much better than the US one, which came across as a bit moribund.
I'm no parade junkie, but Trooping the Colour was streets ahead.
Maybe America should get itself some beefeaters.

Quote: chipolata @ 16th June 2025, 11:46 AM

British parades seem much better than the US one, which came across as a bit moribund.
I'm no parade junkie, but Trooping the Colour was streets ahead.
Maybe America should get itself some beefeaters.

The troops on display were just ordinary soldiers who aren't used to marching in parades. They were probably just happy to be out of the Texas heat for a few days. And if you haven't heard, eating beef is is a no-no these days. All those cow farts are destroying the atmosphere!

The squeaky tank was funny more because it was louder than any crowd noise. It would definitely have been the clip on HIGNFY, if only it was on right now.

Quote: DaButt @ 16th June 2025, 11:50 AM

The troops on display were just ordinary soldiers who aren't used to marching in parades. They were probably just happy to be out of the Texas heat for a few days. And if you haven't heard, eating beef is is a no-no these days. All those cow farts are destroying the atmosphere!

:)

Although saving the planet seems very last decade now. I think we're now all fully committed to buggering it up as fast as possible.

Share this page