This is about as topical as I go. Not sure I'm mining the idea for all it's worth, so let me know.

INT. CITY HALL – DAY

AN OFFICIOUS LOOKING MAN IN A SUIT TALKS ACROSS A TABLE.

SUIT:
People, please! Look at the figures! Don't you see how serious a matter this is? Crime is on the rise, the military is a laughing stock, the infrastructure is crumbling and the birth rate is at an all time low! This isn't the annual village meeting, folks, this is a life and death situation we have here!

ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE TABLE - A COP, A SOLDIER AND A CONSTRUCTION WORKER. BESIDES THEM, AN AMERICAN INDIAN, A COWBOY AND A LEATHER MAN.

COWBOY:
(to the music)
Young man! There's no need to feel down…

It's a really good idea, but that first speech could be clearer.

Quote: sootyj @ March 28, 2008, 4:44 PM

It's a really good idea, but that first speech could be clearer.

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I agree. Help a man out?

Our buildings aren't be built, crime is rampant, the navy is polluting the harbour, and sclapings are up 100% People are we a city, or a village?

Thanks, Sooty. Incorporated a couple of your ideas into the new speech. Much as I love the scalpings line, it doesn't really belong in this sketch.

INT. CITY HALL – DAY

AN OFFICIOUS LOOKING MAN IN A SUIT TALKS ACROSS A TABLE.

SUIT:
Look at these figures! Construction is at a standstill, crime is rampant, the military is a laughing stock and the birth rate is at an all time low! Are we running a city here or is this the village picnic?

ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE TABLE - A COP, A SOLDIER AND A CONSTRUCTION WORKER. BESIDES THEM, AN AMERICAN INDIAN, A COWBOY AND A LEATHER MAN.

COWBOY:
(to the music)
Young man! There's no need to feel down…

They are going to struggle with upping the birth rate...

Yeh that works, the reference points tying the 2 work nicely. I tend to favour the comedic baseball bat to the noggin.

Quote: David Bussell @ March 28, 2008, 5:09 PM

LEATHER MAN.

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What, one of those multi-tools builders have?

Or is it a super hero?

He's a biker, isn't he?

Quote: F Green @ March 28, 2008, 5:11 PM

They are going to struggle with upping the birth rate...

View original

That's the joke.

Oh. I like it

Quote: Seefacts @ March 28, 2008, 5:12 PM

What, one of those multi-tools builders have?

Or is it a super hero?

He's a biker, isn't he?

View original

I struggled with the exact definition. Then I went to Wiki. Apparently he's a leather man.

Is this an improvement?

INT. CITY HALL – DAY

AN OFFICIOUS LOOKING MAN IN A SUIT TALKS ACROSS A TABLE.

SUIT:
Just look at these figures! Construction is at a standstill!

OPPOSITE HIM, A CONSTRUCTION WORKER.

SUIT:
Crime is rampant!

HE TURNS HIS ATTENTION TO A COP.

SUIT:
And our military is a laughing stock!

NOW A SOLDIER.

SUIT:
What do you two even do?

AN AMERICAN INDIAN AND A COWBOY SHRUG.

SUIT:
And perhaps you’d like to explain why the birth rate is at an all time low.

A LEATHER CLAD BIKER TURNS AWAY IN SHAME.

It's good, but I think the musical punchline was better.