CARRISSA DICK IS TAKING QUESTIONS AT A PRESS CONFERENCE

PRESS
Surely all crimes are retrospective, this is nonsense.

CD
Well due to many recent events we are now retooling, and we will rebrand. So as of next Monday we will be known as The Metropolitan Cuspstabulary.

PRESS
What the hell is that?

CD
Well as we can't arrest people after they've committed a crime anymore and as no one wants to live in a country where people are arrested for what they could do. We now see are role as being on the 'Cusp' A sort of before they do it but where they are clearly planning to do it.

PRESS
That's a load of bollocks

CD
I know. Anymore questions?

Sounds like the plot to Minority Report.

Yes, this is a Philip K Dick concept. Not a bad person to be thinking like - but watch out for any pink lights.

Thanks for the read folks and there is a clear Gappy in my comedy knowledge as I have never heard of Philip K Dick.

Don't worry, Dick isn't a comedian (though he often demonstrates a mordant humour), he was a sci-fi writer. The movie Minority Report, with its concept of precrime, is based on one of his stories.

If you think you'd enjoy a mixture of pulp SF, paranoia and drugs, then I recommend him.

Well I do like drugs and no ones more paranoid than me , so I might have a butchers .

A Scanner Darkly is my recommendation, then (there's quite a good film of that).

Blade Runner isn't bad either (though fairly loose adapatation)

Not a bad movie. Speaking of which I was in a very 'Piratical' mood the other day after watching a few moments of the amazing Jack Hawkins as Captain Hoseasons in Kidnapped. And by the way Micheal Caine plays a great Alan Breck. Anyhoo I have Amazon Prime.So I punched in the Sea Hawk and Captain Blood and the cheeky barstewards wanted nearly 4 quid on top of a subscription for a film made 86 f**king years ago. Yet the crap made this year is all there for free which is an indicator how how shit films are these days.

This is what I would do, so I won't be hurt if you don't like it...

I think you could pad it out with more examples of work-in-progress names. "Cusp" feels like a reach to me, so perhaps the reporter could call that out and CD lists the other working titles:
Dept. of Pre-Crime; Who-Gunna-Have-Done-It's; Thought Police; etc

Maybe the punch-line is that CD gets arrested for thinking about murdering the Press agent who's shooting down their ideas?

Cheers, -Liam

Whowouldadunnits is a funny idea.

Bang on the money that Convo thanks for the read and the input and as Gappy says Whowoulddadunnits works best,

Whowouldadoneits is great!
Awesome, glad to help

Thanks for the read and the advice.