Not really after critique at this late stage but had forgotten about this little gem..( )

Quote: Shandonbelle @ 24th June 2011, 6:12 PM BST

A FARAWAY PLANET

TERRY WOGAN, DRESSED IN A CASUAL SUIT, IS SEATED IN THE LOTUS POSITION ON AN ORNATE THRONE WHICH HOVERS HIGH IN THE AIR.

A LITTLE GREEN MAN SITS IN THE LOTUS POSITION ON THE GROUND BELOW HIM.

THE GREEN MAN STARTS TO SPEAK - HIS VOICE IS AN ECHO, AS IF FROM FAR AWAY.
The TOG'S of our planet have awaited your arrival Terry Wogan. Ever since The Ginger One from Stoke on Trent took command of your breakfast show, the TOG'S have refused to leave their nap pods. They languish in a state of togified suspended animation. All that remains is the sound of collective snoring, broken only by the intermittant bursting sound of gases that ricochet down through every black hole from here to the dark side of the moon.

WOGAN
What's Rick O Shea doing going down a black hole? I haven't seen him since I left Limerick. Now Seamus, can I call you Seamus? You have the look of him, same skin. I never rehearse you know...Now ,tell your TOG'S to get out of their lazy bed's, crack their knuckles, Polly put the kettle on, do the Hucklebuck and cop themselves on.

GREEN MAN
You will come with me Terry Wogan. You will take to the stage pad and perform your mystical Floral Dance song and awaken the TOG'S from their perpetual slumbering.

WOGAN
I'm all for a bit of craic, but I've only got this 'ol suit on, how far is it to the Shepherds Bush Studio's? I think I left me Floral Dance shirt in the wardrobe department after Top of the Pops in 1978.

GREEN MAN
That will not be necessary Terry Wogan, we held an Intergalactic Fashion Funk with Gok Wan last Tuesday. He left behind many floral shirts in his haste to leave...a strange man, spoke funny.
It is time Terry Wogan.

WE SEE A GIGANTIC STAGE FILLED WITH BILLOWING SMOKE - TERRY WOGAN STANDS SHROUDED IN THE SMOG. HE CLEARS HIS THROAT AND BEGINS TO SING.

'I thought I could hear the curious tone, of the cornet, clarinet, and big trombone, fiddle, cello, big bass drum, bassoon, flute and euphonium. Far away, as in a trance, I heard the sound of the Floral Dance.'

A BAND OF GREEN ALIENS PLAYING A MULTITUDE OF INSTRUMENTS FILL THE STAGE.

ONE BY ONE WE SEE ELDERLY ALIEN TOG'S WAKING FROM A DEEP SLEEP, THEY CLIMB DROWSILY FROM THEIR SUSPENDED NAP PODS AND FOLLOW THE MUSIC TO THE AUDITORIUM.

THE SONG CONTINUES

'In and out of the houses they come, old folk, young folk...'

THE SMOKE CLEARS AND THE ALIEN TOG'S SEE WOGAN FOR THE FIRST TIME.
HE WEARS A WILDLY COLOURED FLORAL SHIRT AND GREY STA PRESSED TROUSERS.

'Dancing here, prancing there, jigging, jogging everywhere, up and down, and around the town...Hurrah for the Cornish Floral Dance'

THE SONG ENDS TO ECSTATIC APPLAUSE - WOGAN BOWS WITH A JAUNTY FLOURISH.

THE AUDIENCE OF ALIEN TOG'S CAN NO LONGER CONTAIN THEMSELVES. THEY STORM THE STAGE AND DIVE AT WOGAN IN FRENZIED ADORATION. ONE OF THE TOG'S OPENS HER MOUTH TO KISS HIM REVEALING LUMINOUS PURPLE TEETH - THE OTHER TOG'S CLAP WILDLY AND DANCE AROUND. A HORRIFIED WOGAN CAN FEEL SPINDLY FINGERS RUNNING THROUGH HIS HAIR AND PATTING HIM ON THE HEAD....HE OPENS HIS MOUTH TO SCREAM BUT NO SOUND COMES OUT...

FADE

INT - BEDROOM

WE SEE WOGAN SITTING BOLT UPRIGHT IN BED

Holy Moses, what was that? (He ponders for a few seconds before lying back down)

I'll have to lay off the Dairylea Dunkers before bedtime.

FALLS BACK TO SLEEP.

END.

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