Hello all. Don't know whether critique or showcase is the best place for this, but anyway... Beyond Benefits, a web series about the residents of Pato Banton Street in Birmingham. Edited by another forum member.

The pilot is on YouTube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xMtdDygtTAA

Let me know what you think. Note for anyone watching at work or around people: It's very sweary. We're working on cutting another version (and reshooting a bit) to lessen that somewhat.

We're entered into the Cofilmic festival as well, hoping to get some funding for full cast and higher production values for the series. So if you like it, please follow this link on smartphones/tablets to download the Mikz app (it's free) and vote for the pilot on there for the audience voting section of the competition. Which closes on the 7th: http://open.mikz.com/QZXXBZGGT5CJG

Thanks.

If that's a bargain basement version then I'm impressed because it's impressive.
Well acted, funny, lots of great lines, strong characters and about the best benefit street piss take. It's actually a pretty clever angle to take making it about a parrasitic kid having a superiority complex.

Only thought is you may want to move onto more situational gags, as the gags will run out.

If you've put loads of work into this, congratulations because it's paid off. Very funny, very well acted, very well edited.

If you haven't sweated, stressed and cried until only salt comes out with a hundred takes and rewrites then you have a very natural talent.

But to answer your question, this belongs in my opinion in showcase because its beyond critique. You should only take notes from someone about to give you a load of money to produce this for a specific channel or time slot.

As an internet only thing it will find it's own audience. This will comprise of people who get and howl laughing at the 'Crocodile Shows' line.

I've already forwarded this in email and I never forward anything for fear of getting punched in the face.

In short - it's great!

Quite possibly the funniest and most professional-looking YouTube vid I've ever seen a link to on this site.

The swearing fits seamlessly into the dialogue: I wouldn't change it without very good reason (e.g. you're offered a BBC 2 slot if you de-swear it a bit).

Well done!

Quote: BoomBoomBoom @ 2nd October 2014, 1:32 PM BST

Edited by another forum member.

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I hope you thanked them - they've done a bloody good job.
Nice stuff.

Thanks guys! Glad people have enjoyed it.

Sootyj, the episodes will be more situational and plotty, the pilot script was kind of cribbed from scenes from different episodes at short notice based on which roles were already cast and who was available.

Cheers Rood Eye, and I apologise if you now end up getting a punch in the face from folks because of me.

Lazzard, I have indeed thanked him. He's the hero of the piece! He did great work.

Quote: BoomBoomBoom @ 2nd October 2014, 5:29 PM BST

Cheers Rood Eye, and I apologise if you now end up getting a punch in the face from folks because of me.

View original

You're welcome, but it was 'Some Yoke' who thought that might happen to him.

I know, but I've sent minor assassins after you. some yoke is probably safe as houses.

Great stuff. I really liked it and it's got some great potential to keep on improving too!

Thanks Scartledge, hopefully it'll get stronger and stronger as we go on!

As I mentioned in the first post, if folks do have a spare few moments to follow the link to the Mikz app and thumbs up it for the Cofilmic vote, that'd be fantastic.