Thanks for the honest words and advice for part 1... I'm encouraged enough to post the next part... I appreciate any honest feedback....
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SCENE 2.

INT. BURKE INVESTIGATIONS RECEPTION AREA - DAY

JANICE SITS AT THE RECEPTIONIST DESK TYPING AT THE COMPUTER. THE OFFICE IS FUNCTIONAL BUT SHABBY. IN ADDITION TO THE LOBBY THERE IS A MAIN ENTRANCE DOOR, A COAT STAND, A DOOR LEADING TO TONY'S OFFICE, AND ANOTHER LEADING TO THE BACK OFFICE AREA.. THERE IS A SMALL INTERIOR WINDOW TO TONY'S OFFICE.

O.O.V MR. WILEY MOANING AND SOBBING CAN BE HEARD FROM TONY'S OFFICE
TONY BURKE EXITS HIS OFFICE ROLLING HIS EYES SKYWARD AND SHAKING HIS HEAD. IN HIS LATE 30S - EARLY 40S, HE'S ON THE SHORT SIDE - AN ENERGETIC BULLDOG LOOKING FOR SOME RESPECT IN THE WORLD.

JANICE

That poor man. Imagine cheating on a circus clown. It's kind of ironic don't you think?

TONY

Janice, let me explain ironic. Have you ever seen New Scotland Yard?

JANICE:

Only on TV. It's got that sign outside that goes round and round in circles - day in, day out.

TONY

Yes I know exactly how it feels. Well when I was a kid I imagined leading a crack team of top notch detectives, with my own office on the top floor.

JANICE:

You always wanted to be a policeman then?

TONY

Yep. My nan even made me a uniform. I guess it wasn't to be. I still can't believe it. Half an inch too short.

JANICE:

Couldn't she have just altered the trousers?
TONY
...eh.....no, no my height. They said I was half an inch too short. They wouldn't accept me.

JANICE:

Well, you ARE a detective and this IS the top floor...

TONY

Of a crappy building off the North Circular Road. No, Janice, I'm afraid a Private Detective doesn't quite get the same respect, though God knows why....we work on such challenging cases, filled with devious criminal masterminds and dangerous tough-talking hard cases.

MR. WILEY (O.O.V)
(Moaning and sobbing pathetically between words)
...Why? ..... Why did she do it? ... I gave her everything .....

WILEY EXITS TONY'S OFFICE. A CIRCUS CLOWN IN HIS CIVILIAN CLOTHES. HE IS IN HIS FORTIES, MAYBE FOUR FEET TALL AND BALD. HE IS HOLDING A STACK OF SURVEILLANCE PHOTOS.

MR. WILEY

I didn't trust those Flying Fellini Brothers from the moment they joined our circus. You can never trust trapeze artists.

TONY
Always hanging around are they?

MR. WILEY
They travel in large packs Mr. Burke - they're like wolves.

TONY LOOKS OVER WILEY'S SHOULDER AT THE PHOTOS - HE TAKES THEM

TONY

Yes, Simon had to use a wide angle lens to get them all in. They're very agile aren't they? Must be all that swinging.

WILEY TAKES HIS COAT FROM THE STAND AND WALKS TO THE DOOR

MR. WILEY

I've left your Simon two tickets for tomorrow's matinee. Goodbye - you'll understand if I don't thank you.

WILEY EXITS. TONY CLAPS HIS HANDS TOGETHER IN MOCK SATISFACTION AS HE DECLARES...

TONY
Another satisfied customer.

JANICE:

If you don't mind me saying, Mr. Burke, you might want to be a little more sensitive. This puts him in a very difficult position at the circus.

TONY

(looks back at the PHOTOS)
Yep.......and Janice, you've been here nearly a week now - please call me Tony.

JANICE:

Well - Tony - Mr. Pritchett from the insurance company called. Said he'll be in the area and that he'll pick up the work. Simon just brought me the folder.

TONY

Right, we'll need to check it - and I mean thoroughly. I want to see more checks than Peter Czec's checkbook inside his check jacket at the checkout.

JANICE

Check. You don't trust Simon then? But he seems so nice....perhaps he needs to be nurtured. I know he spends a lot of time with Dennis, but I'm not sure that he's cultivated enough for Simon.

TONY

Dennis? Oh, he's cultivated enough believe me. And after he's cultivated it he rolls it and smokes it. He makes Bob Marley look like a casual user.

JANICE
(Dramatic)

Old Marley was as dead as a door nail.

TONY

Well, he's dead, yes. Cancer wasn't it?

JANICE

Oh, I don't think so Tony. Dickens wasn't exactly specific, but I think it was more a mean, old, worn out heart. Him and Scrooge both you see?

TONY
Eh? ... No, no - BOB Marley, not Jacob Marley. You know, reggae -

(sings in mock Jamaican accent)

"Hey little darlin', don't shed no tears, No Woman, No Cry"

JANICE

Oh, no. There were no songs in "A Christmas Carol". Maybe you're thinking of "Oliver"?

(picks up the folder)

Anyway, it looks rather good to me. Descriptions, photographs, everything. I have to say it's been very professionally laid out.

TONY
Yeah, so was Lenin. But where's the Soviet Union today eh? Here let me take a look.

TAKES THE FILE AND STARTS TO LEAF THROUGH THE PAGES

Mmm hmm. Ok... good. The nerve of these buggers! Some of them collecting six figure disability insurance and look at them. Here's a guy parachuting! Pritchett has promised to pay a tidy sum for these, and there's plenty more to come if we don't manage to screw it up. No more skulking around seedy hotels in the middle of the night for us! Now we can skulk around in the daytime!!!

INCREDULOUS, HE STOPS AT ONE PARTICULAR PAGE.

I don't believe this! SIMON!

WALKS TOWARDS THE DOOR TO THE BACK OFFICE AREA.

CUT TO:

Hi blobster

I read the first part a couple of weeks ago and just read this. I think this could easily be the first scene. It gets straight into it and meet the main characters (although weren't there supposed to be more than one detective?). I can see the seeds of a plot emerging (The insurance thing.. this was made obvious with a "as long as we don't screw it up" - and presumably something to do with the circus. On the whole I quite like the set up and was getting a feel for the characters. On the down side, I didn't feel that the dialogue flowed very naturally it seemed like a lot of what they were saying were just setting up jokes (not all of which I got ) Have you written the whole episode ?

Thanks Matty (or is it Swan?)... funny, originally this was the first scene and I convinced myself that I had to set it up differently. Looking at it now - a year later - I think you (and I) were correct, I don't need the first scene..so, thanks for that. Yes, I have written the full pilot - I did not want to inundate the good people on the forum with 30 minutes of stuff in one bite. I will continue to post bite sized pieces, but I'm more than happy to send the entire thing to you (or anyone else for that matter) if you wanted to see it. Again, many thanks.

It has potential; Tony seems to have some depth as a character as well as good one liners and there's a lot you can do plot-wise with private detectives. I can imagine a good comic actor getting a lot of mileage out of dryly delivering the "hanging around", "all that swinging" and "so was Lenin" lines.
The "So was Lenin" line is very good indeed with the right timing.

The Marley confusion is a bit laboured though. I like Tony's original wisecrack about Dennis but I'm not sure the extended confusion sequence afterwards will add many laughs. And I'm not sure whether Janice is supposed to be a bit slow or a real oddball. There's a couple of other places that could be much improved with a little change it. The bit after "crappy building off the North Circular Road" either needs to be a long rant that's funny in itself or actually be interrupted by the sad clown unexpectedly bursting in. Having him whine off-screen mutes the effect.

Writing is rewriting, as they say, so keep tweaking.

I liked this, it made me smirk. Tony comes across well, Janice too.

Agree with previous posters re. Over laboured marley joke.

Maybe the clown could fall over, splat himself in the face, etc, when leaving - the audience expects...

Not sure if his situation is 'irony' but I liked the dialogue, and would be happy to see more.

I liked this part and I'm agree with Mattytheswan about the first scene. Your main characters are interesting and it's a good thing to meet and know a little about them before the part 1.
Keep going Blobster, I hope to see more of your work