10 Halloween Puns
Darren Walsh - the UK's first Pun Champion - has a new book out packed with over 1000 silly gags. Below he provides us with 10 topical spooky gags for Halloween....
I won a pumpkin carving contest against a class of 8 year olds. It was a hollow victory.
I couldn't decide what Halloween costume to wear, then I saw a sign that said 'Beware Wolf', so I did.
Halloween is like incest. You pump kin.
How many times has Dracula wandered off by himself? I've lost Count.
Lex Luther invited Superman on a night out for Halloween. He said "Do you want to go to the crypt tonight?"
I went on a romantic package holiday with a group of over-50s vampires. It was the Twilight Saga.
I've adopted the love child of a Werewolf and the Loch Ness Monster. Just raising a Were-Ness.
Last Halloween, I went round to a retirement home and gave Gerry a treat. This year, I'm gonna show Gerry a trick.
I manage all Dracula's bookings. I work in a Count Management.
This Italian Vampire told me he was immortal, but I'm a more tall.
'Cheep Laughs: 1025 Really Daft Gags' by Darren Walsh is published by Century. Details & Order