"Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. Tonight I've got the pleasure - but I won't go into that now."
Ahh, the 1950s. Glory days, when a comedian could start their set using one of a selection of stock jokes, handed down through the generations, and deployed in clubs and theatres across the country every night.
Things have changed rather a lot since then - and a stand-up comedian is expected to offer a much more personal act, using original jokes crafted by him or herself, in conjunction perhaps with his or her writer(s).
So, in no particular order, here are 3...