Ricky Gervais, Stephen Merchant and Karl Pilkington cover a range of pointless topics including Karl's new diary, Stephen's attempt to get a nickname, and whether people think in their accents.

Karl is back from his holiday where he decided to write a diary. Ricky begs to read some of it, revealing a new invention Karl has come up with: A watch that counts down the days and time until one's death. Other journal musings include random observations about fellow vacationers and whether people think in their accents.

Stephen reveals his lifelong desire for a nickname and recalls his childhood attempt to be called "Spud". Karl shares some of the codes from his CB radio days. In Monkey News: A bobsledding simian Olympian.