A cracking start for ITV's new Saturday sensation The Marriage Ref... commanding an impressively tiny ­audience of 2.5million. The kind of ratings that would be just about ­respectable on a Tuesday afternoon. But for the ­weekend prime time ­"highlight" were nothing short of ­disastrous. Just axe it now.

Episode two was even worse than episode one. No mean feat. Unbelievably boring. No prizes, no serious marital disputes, Sarah ­Millican (again) and witless hollow-laughter host ­Dermot O'Leary. A genial guy who is simply not funny.

If you must waste good money on a feeble format, you might as well recruit someone who can make people laugh.

Why every couple needs a referee

The idea behind the new TV series 'The Marriage Ref' is a brilliant one, says Jenny McCartney.

ITV's new look Saturday line-up continues to settle in, with the second episode of this raucous show which sees couples come into the studio to settle marital disputes. Each partner puts their side of the tiff across, while host Dermot O'Leary tries to keep the peace. A three-strong celebrity panel then offers their views and ultimately votes on the victor.

Marriages on the rocks and on the box

The British show worked where the US one did not, because the panel were not snooty, two were laugh-out-loud funny, and above all they did not display how much - socially, intellectually, morally - they thought themselves above the material with which they were presented.

Hosted by Dermot O'Leary, The Marriage Ref invites married couples to air their domestic differences before a live studio audience, while a celebrity panel offers advice and adjudication.

These aren't the sort of grievances that threaten relationships, nor even perverse sexual demands, but quaint foibles about which the panel can make humorous comments. Episode one featured a husband who compulsively pickles vegetables and a wife who communicates by Post-it notes.

The Marriage Ref is frothy, undemanding and, paradoxically, so inoffensive it causes offence. I took against it almost immediately, despite the participation of two fine comedians, Jimmy Carr and Sarah Millican. Unfortunately, the triumvirate was completed by former Spice Girl and UN Goodwill Ambassador Geri Halliwell, a woman who tries to compensate for absence of wit through excessive volume. "You're funny, you're funny," she screamed at Carr. "Yes," Carr snapped back, his own goodwill evaporating by the second, "It's my job."

The Marriage Ref review

While the US version has A and B-list guests the audience may be intrigued to see pass comment on ordinary people's love lives, the UK version's just got some comedians to provide quips.

The Marriage Ref - based on an idea by Jerry Seinfeld - was a disaster in the States and doesn't look as if it will do much better here. The idea is that bickering couples bring their disputes for resolution to a panel of celebrities, though since there's absolutely nothing at stake for anyone involved and the disputes are cutely trivial anyway (a husband's obsession with pickles, a wife's addiction to to-do lists), it's really just an excuse for yet another comedy panel show. Dermot O'Leary presents, with tiresome ebullience, and the audience goes "aaahhh" whenever a couple turn up who are over 60. Sarah Millican and Jimmy both had their moments in the first episode, but I'm not sure that there's a lot to keep you watching other than a long unresolved row with your partner over whose turn it is to find the remote control.

The Marriage Ref review: Wed off

It's not great, but it's not terrible, ultimately the success or failure of The Marriage Ref lies with the judging panel.

The Marriage Ref was pointless

Dermot O'Leary's The Marriage Ref opened with couples rowing over to-do lists and pickled walnuts. Switching off the telly and having your own domestic dispute is much more fun than this rubbish.

I don't understand why American critics took so vehemently against The Marriage Ref, created by Jerry Seinfeld. On the strength of this ITV remake, it looks like harmless fluff.

Or maybe the harmlessness was the reason for the critics' harshness. Maybe the Americans expected Seinfeld to come up with something edgier and more substantial than a comedy panel game in which three celebrities pass jokey judgements on minor marital spats.

The US version, despite savage reviews, has limped to a second series. The only reason for its survival seems to be Seinfeld's ability to fill the panel with heavyweight celebrity pals like Madonna, Alec Baldwin and Ricky Gervais.

Their counterparts for this version were considerably less starry: comedians Sarah Millican and Jimmy Carr (clearly we don't see enough of him on television), and, as host Dermot O'Leary described her, "British pop and yoga royalty" Geri Halliwell.

I can't see this version making it beyond a single series. The domestic disputes are barely disputes at all and there's nothing at stake, not even a cash prize.

Saturday's participants were a middle-aged Tom Jones impersonator who's fed up with his wife leaving him "to do" lists; a young woman who wants her 31-year-old clown of a husband to grow up and stop hanging out with teenage skateboarders; and a lovely, octogenarian couple, married for 53 years, who are having a genteel disagreement over the husband's habit of making endless jars of pickles (cue some patronising "oohing" and "aahing" from the studio audience).

Hardly the stuff of Relate counselling. In a TV landscape coarsened beyond belief by the likes of Jeremy Kyle, The Marriage Ref doesn't stand a chance.