To avoid deportation, madame Maureen arranges a sham marriage between Yelena and the ever-willing Barry. At the wedding, middle-aged punter Michael is horrified when his wife finally meets prostitute Hayley.

The arrival of a new cut-price brothel in town has everyone talking. Barry is particularly excited, describing it to Michael as "EasyJet for prozzies", and is delighted by its £10 flat fee. Maureen, however, is less pleased at the news. She takes the step of lodging a complaint and shops the eastern European staff to immigration. Unfortunately, the proprietors of the new establishment seek revenge by reporting Yelena, who is now staring an immigration interview in the face. She has told them that she can't be deported by lying that she is engaged to an English man - and now has to find one before her interview in ten days' time.

Luckily for Yelena, there is an available "English pig" in the form of Barry. He announces his engagement to a bemused Michael, asks him to be his best man - and invites Pippa. Michael accepts, but is terrified at the thought of Pippa coming face to face with Hayley - if that happened, he would never be able to see his cherished prostitute again. Everyone promises to keep quiet and maintain the illusion that they're all just friends of the happy couple - but when Michael is charged with looking after Barry's doddery mother, he is unable to keep an eye on just who Pippa is talking to. Can he trust Hayley not to drop him in it?