Series B, Episode 7 - Biscuits
- If someone said to you that the British Empire was built on diarrhoea, they would be wrong, because the British were the first power to solve the problem of diarrhoea. Two men called Pringle (for the army) and Lind (for the navy) managed to solve the problem but for the wrong reasons. They thought that illness was spread by smell, so they got rid of anything that smelt bad like faeces. Lind also suggested that lemons should be used to get rid of scurvy. However, because every country that grew lemons hated Britain, the closest we could get was limes from the Caribbean which were only half as effective, hence the nickname "Limeys"; although British people should be really be called "Lemonys".
- Ballet is illegal in Turkmenistan. The former president of Turkmenistan, Saparmurat Niyazov, also banned beards and listening to car radios. He named January after himself, had pictures of himself on yoghurt pots and fired 15,000 nurses, replacing them with army conscripts. Niyazov was born in the capital city of Ashgabat. There is a city called Mary and a region called Mary in Turkmenistan.
- Digestive biscuits do not help digestion. They were originally designed to stop flatulence. In the USA, it is illegal to call them digestives. The word "Cookie" comes from the Dutch word "Koekje" meaning "Cake". The Americans have a savoury snack called biscuits and gravy. 450 digestive biscuits are made every second in the UK.
- The difference between a cake and a biscuit is that when they go stale, cakes go hard and biscuits go soft. A jaffa cake is a type of cake, but the VAT review board wanted to classify them as biscuits so that they could then be taxed. It was proven in front of the VAT review board that jaffa cakes go hard when stale, and a large jaffa cake was cooked to show it was a cake.
- Straight roads were invented in the Iron Age. Ireland has many straight roads, even thought the Romans never got as far as Ireland. (Forfeit: Romans)
- A group of baboons is called a "Congress", although the word "Flange" (which originated from the 'Gerald the Talking Gorilla' sketch in Not the Nine O'Clock News) is beginning to replace it and is now even being used by some academics as the official word.
- Aardvarks have more bones in their noses than any other creature, with either nine or ten. Elephants have none. (Forfeit: Elephants)
- According to Anders Celsius, the boiling point of water is 0 degrees Celcius. He claimed that water boiled at 0 and froze at 100, whereas today it is the other way around. (Forfeit: 100 degrees)
- "What did Mussolini do?". He made a train for himself to carry him from Milan to Rome on time to become Prime Minister, but all other improvements in Italian transport were made after him. (Forfeit: Made trains run on time)
- Lord Nelson never wore an eye patch, because he never lost an eye, just the sight. (Forfeit: Right)
- Friday 12th November 2004
- BBC Four
- 30 minutes
Cast & crew
|Stephen Fry||Host / Presenter|
|Alan Davies||Regular Panellist|
|Dara O Briain||Guest|
|John Mitchinson||Question Writer|
|Piers Fletcher||Question Writer|
|Mark Freeland||Executive Producer|
|Simon London||Executive Producer|
|Jonathan Paul Green||Production Designer|