Series J, Episode 6 - Joints
- The first question is for Alan, and to make things easier the lights are lower and erotic music is played. He is then asked if he can feel his sphincter relaxing. The answer is that he should because the dim lights will relax the sphincters in his eyes. Humans have lots of sphincters all over the body, including the eyes, the capillaries, the penis, the bladder, and the anus. It is a ring of muscle that can contract and expand.
- XL: The panel are shown a picture of a long, thin reptile and asked what it is. It is a legless lizard. Some lizards do not have legs. The difference between the legless lizard and the snake that the snake has jawbones which allow it to open the mouth wider. Snake eyes also have a film over them. An example of a legless lizard is the slowworm. (Forfeit: Snake)
- The panel play a game of "Stick the knees on the elephants". There are each given a silhouette of an elephant and some stickers, and are told where to stick where they think the knees are on the elephant. The answer is that they only have two, on the back legs, as the front legs are technically arms and thus have elbows. The popular internet / pub fact about elephants being the only animal with four knees is thus wrong.
- XL: According to a butcher a sheep has two legs. The front two are "shoulders". The front legs of pigs are called "hands" by butchers. (Forfeit: Four)
- An elephant drinks by scooping liquid with the trunk and squirt it back out again into the mouth. As the trunk is the elephant's nose it would drown if it drank through it. (Forfeit: Through its drunk)
- The other thing, other than the knees, that humans and elephants have in common is that we are the only mammals with chins. Nobody quite knows why we have chins, although we do know they are useful for speech.
- XL: The thing that the Ancient Greeks used for earache, that Christopher Columbus took 80 tonnes of to America and that Henry VIII made compulsory was a totally different kind of joint: hemp. Columbus had hemp ropes on his ship. Hemp was used as oil, a lubricant and as clothing. By the middle of the 19th century cannabis was recommended by the US Pharmacopoeia to help with neuralgia, tetanus, typhus, cholera, rabies, dysentery, alcoholism, anthrax, leprosy, incontinence, snakebites, gout, tonsillitis and insanity. It was considered to be a panacea - a cure all. It is illegal to sell cannabis seeds in America except for birdseed.
- The panel have another animal sticker round, but this time they are pinning the knees on a flamingo. Flamingo's knees are high up the leg, usually hidden under all the feathers. The joints down half-way the visible legs are ankles. Jack gets the question right and as a present gives Stephen an apple.
- Glaswegian woman lost their teeth on their wedding night. It was common to give the teeth to the husband as a 21st birthday present. It was considered that it would save money on dentistry bills for the rest of your life. At the time false teeth were made out of a mixture of things including wood. Some dentures were spring loaded. Some used actual teeth taken from dead bodies off battlefields. The most famous were from the Battle of Waterloo and were thus called "Waterloo teeth". Also, poor people sold their teeth to be used as dentures.
- Stephen takes out a piece of equipment that looks like a pair of pliers but with forked ends. It is a "masticator" which is device that allowed you to mash and chew up food before you put it into your mouth, so if you have no teeth you can easily swallow it.
- XL: The thing with noisy knees and a urine-soaked hair brush is the eland, a type of antelope. The hairbrush is on the top of the hair. The bigger it is the more likely it is they will mate, and they soak the hairbrush in urine to make it bigger. It also snaps its tendons over its legs. The thicker and bigger the muscles the loud the noise will be. The louder the noise, the bigger the chance of mating.
- XL: The man who wrote The Cat in the Hat pronounced his surname "Zoyce". Dr. Seuss's real name was Theodor Seuss Geisel. His first children's manuscript story was rejected 27 times because he was told it had no moral. He also tried different surnames including "Rosetta Stone", and "Theo Lesieg", which is his surname spelt backwards. There was another doctor, whose surname was pronounced "Syooce" who did propose something else, which was the existence of Gondwanaland. (Forfeit: Dr. Syooce)
- The kind of glass that the Pope has on the pope-mobile is bullet-resistant. There is no such thing as bulletproof glass. The glass is four inches think and layered with vinyl. There is also one-way bullet-resistant glass which works due to the way the glass is layered. The shock absorbing layer is on the inside with the glass on the outside. The Vatican has 2.27 recurring Popes per square kilometre, because the country is only 0.44km big. (Forfeit: Bulletproof)
- If you had an aeroplane which was badly damaged on the back the best way to make it safer would be to add more protection to the front. The damage shows that it can easily take it in this location, so you should instead protect the bits that are not hit.
- A jolly jape from Stephen: he provides a 3D printout of a "Strandbeest", designed by Dutch artist Theo Jansen, which is a model that walks across beaches and sand on wind power alone. It contains no metallic or electronic parts. It can also detect the tide, walk away from the water, and anchor itself by hammering a pin into the ground if the wind is too strong. It can also store air in bottles and release it when the wind drops. Stephen shows the 3D printout, which only had to have the propeller added, and shows it working by using a mini-fan. Consumer 3D printers are available for about £1,600.
- Friday 19th October 2012
- BBC Two
- 30 minutes
- Friday 19th October 2012 at 10:00pm on BBC HD
- Saturday 20th October 2012 at 9:00pm on BBC2 (45 minute version)
- Saturday 20th October 2012 at 9:00pm on BBC HD (45 minute version)
- Friday 1st March 2013 at 10:00pm on BBC2
- Friday 1st March 2013 at 10:00pm on BBC HD
- Sunday 17th March 2013 at 11:30pm on BBC2 Scot
- Monday 12th August 2013 at 9:00pm on Dave (60 minute version)
- Tuesday 13th August 2013 at 1:00am on Dave (60 minute version)
- Tuesday 10th September 2013 at 10:00pm on Dave (60 minute version)
- Wednesday 11th September 2013 at 1:20am on Dave (55 minute version)
- Sunday 3rd November 2013 at 8:00pm on Dave (60 minute version)
- Sunday 3rd November 2013 at 11:00pm on Dave (60 minute version)
- Wednesday 18th December 2013 at 9:00pm on Dave (60 minute version)
- Thursday 19th December 2013 at 12:20am on Dave (60 minute version)
- Saturday 1st March 2014 at 8:00pm on Dave (60 minute version)
- Saturday 1st March 2014 at 11:40pm on Dave (60 minute version)
- Saturday 8th March 2014 at 10:45pm on BBC2 (45 minute version)
- Thursday 29th May 2014 at 9:00pm on Dave (60 minute version)
- Monday 17th November 2014 at 8:00pm on Dave (60 minute version)
- Tuesday 18th November 2014 at 12:20am on Dave (60 minute version)
- Wednesday 4th March 2015 at 9:00pm on Dave (60 minute version)
- Thursday 21st May 2015 at 8:00pm on Dave (60 minute version)
- Friday 22nd May 2015 at 2:00am on Dave (60 minute version)
- Thursday 13th August 2015 at 12:00am on Dave (60 minute version)
- Thursday 13th August 2015 at 8:00pm on Dave (60 minute version)
- Wednesday 23rd December 2015 at 2:00am on Dave (60 minute version)
- Wednesday 23rd December 2015 at 11:00pm on Dave (60 minute version)
- Wednesday 9th March 2016 at 10:00pm on Dave (60 minute version)
- Thursday 10th March 2016 at 2:00am on Dave (60 minute version)
- Friday 27th May 2016 at 9:00pm on Dave (60 minute version)
- Saturday 28th May 2016 at 12:00am on Dave (60 minute version)
- Saturday 16th July 2016 at 8:00pm on Dave (60 minute version)
- Tuesday 6th September 2016 at 9:00pm on Dave (60 minute version)
- Wednesday 7th September 2016 at 12:00am on Dave
- Thursday 6th October 2016 at 8:00pm on Dave (60 minute version)
- Friday 7th October 2016 at 1:20am on Dave (60 minute version)
- Tuesday 4th April 2017 at 9:00pm on Dave (60 minute version)
- Wednesday 18th October 2017 at 11:00pm on Dave (60 minute version)
- Sunday 28th January 2018 at 12:00am on Dave (60 minute version)
Cast & crew
|Stephen Fry||Host / Presenter|
|Alan Davies||Regular Panellist|
|James Harkin||Script Editor|
|Andrew Hunter Murray||Question Writer|
|John Lloyd (as John Lloyd CBE)||Series Producer|
|Ruby Kuraishe||Executive Producer|
|Jonathan Paul Green||Production Designer|