Never Mind The Quality, Feel The Width. Image shows from L to R: Emmanuel 'Manny' Cohen (John Bluthal), Patrick Kelly (Joe Lynch).

Never Mind The Quality, Feel The Width

ITV sitcom about a pair of tailors. 40 episodes (pilot + 6 series), 1967 - 1971. Stars John Bluthal, Joe Lynch, Bernard Spear, Cyril Shaps and others.

Series 5

1. And Ecumenicals To You

First broadcast: Tuesday 15th December 1970

In a bid to improve community/race relations, Manny and Patrick try to arrange a game of football; Jews vs. Catholics. But with Sunday the Catholic Sabbath, and Saturday the Jewish Sabbath, they can't even decide on when they should hold the match!


2. I'll Take You Home Again Kathleen

First broadcast: Tuesday 22nd December 1970

Patrick feels it's time to fulfill an "understanding" he's had with a female friend, Kathleen, since he left the old country, and thus returns home to Ireland to settle down with her. Unfortunately, it seems to be an understanding only one of them has.


3. Twenty Years On

First broadcast: Tuesday 29th December 1970

Upon the 20th anniversary of the Cohen/Kelly partnership, Manny remembers how he and Patrick first met and began working together. Mellowed by the occasion - and by several bottles of win - they recall their early struggles and bare their consciences ...

Patrick feels compelled to confess to something that has been on his conscience for the past two decades. Then he discovers that Manny, too, has a skeleton dangling in the cupboard ...


4. A Question Of Policy

First broadcast: Tuesday 5th January 1971

After their taking advice on individual insurance policies, a mix-up at the doctor's office leads Manny to believe that Patrick has just one week to live. He is, naturally, distraught, but Patrick doesn't have a clue what's going on - at first...


5. The Not So Kosher Cantor

First broadcast: Tuesday 12th January 1971

The arrival of a new Rabbi at Manny's synagogue leads to some confusion when his Cantor fails to turn up to the first service.


6. And Nobody Knew They Were There

First broadcast: Tuesday 19th January 1971

After a weekend burglary, Patrick and Manny massively beef-up security in their workroom: bars over the windows, and big solid locks on both the main and toilet doors. But with such a new setup, something is bound to go wrong.


7. You Will Go To The Ball, Manny Cohen

First broadcast: Tuesday 26th January 1971

A reunion for Manny's primary school looms, and as the least successful of a varied bunch of pupils, he's eager to make a good impression - particularly with one Mary Appleton.


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