Foliopaper is proclaimed 'merciless against dead skin'; and the Bible-panning vicar is incredulous over the feeding of the five thousand and lex talionis.

Chris "Tourette's" Graham swears himself out of a job on PMTV; Professional Footballers' Wives is sponsored by Norsons Pies; and Monkey Trousers leads a body-toning class.

A couple of chaps exchange helium-enhanced small talk; the Croc Botherer farts into the snout of a 'bush-weasel' (a rabbit); and Roy tries to find a fatty-appropriate toy.

Finally, estate agent Alasdair's colleague Mr Brooks proves almost as clueless as him; and from F & F Berry's auction-house in Kent, "Windy" Dick Baker belches his way to victory in Beat the Auctioneer.