The Sneezer does his mucous thing all over his newly-wed wife.

Professional Footballers' Wives is sponsored by Norsons Meths ('the sportsman's meths'); the pathologically sweary chef Chris Graham starts a new slot on PMTV; and the astronauts of Whippet infuriate mission control at the Geordie Space Centre.

The Croc Botherer dives on a rare butterfly whilst looking for an effeminate 'dile; Roy of Roy's Toys crafts a haunting tale of a struggling toy farm; and Alasdair the estate agent gets pushed into a swimming pool.

Finally, the Vicar is bemused by the bush that burned and was not consumed, and some loud cops argue over who's got the balls for the McFarlane case.