Colin Holliday

Colin is the owner and general manager of the caravan site. He's a touchy little tyrant. Colin promotes himself as a standard bearer for the virtues of the old-fashioned British holiday but in reality his true interest lies in wringing as great a profit from his holidaymakers as possible. He's the sort of man who thinks nothing of spraying a family with a fire extinguisher just because they've sparked up a BBQ.

Days on the caravan site are spent doing what Colin sees as the essential tasks of the hospitality business - driving costs down and avoiding difficult customers.

Joyce Mullen

Most nights resident entertainer Joyce Mullen, or 'the voice' as she prefers to be known, is trapped in the lounge, Planet Entertainment, belting out a set of slightly-out-of-date hits thanks to a bit of a drink problem coupled with no money.

Colin and Joyce have a fiery relationship as she lurches from one outburst to the next. She regularly takes offence at Colin's suggestions that she 'pull her act together' and change her attitude.

Mike Bryan

Mike is Colin's long-standing nemesis.

Mike was an inspector for SNATCH (The Scottish National Association of Tents, Caravans and Holiday-Homes), but after visiting Mike's park to inspect it became convinced he could do a better job and so has setup his own holiday destination just down the road.

Colin and Mike vie for supremacy in what they see as key territory in the Scottish tourism industry. If anyone's going to outwit Colin it's Mike - a boring, careful businessman with ambition and imagination but without scruple.

Dean Bullock

Dean Bullock is the trainee manager with one eye on promotion and the other on whatever bit of skirt comes through the door.

Dean is Colin's right hand man, always eager to find ways of impressing the boss enough to be awarded the promotion he believes his self-taught business and management expertise deserves.

Debbi

Debbi, the hospitality assistant, is stuck behind the bar dishing out lukewarm lager and Monster Munch but is probably the sanest of the bunch.

Debbi actually comes close to liking some of the guests but is not doing much more than serving out her days until she manages to get hitched to a man with a fake tan and a fat wallet.

Michelle

Michelle is Mike's new personal assistant. She must put up with all his demands.