Joe Lycett interview

What's your secret drunk munchies food?

When I come home completely wasted after a night out, my absolute guilty pleasure is to secretly prepare a slowly braised British pork belly with minted pea purée and smoked apple crackling which I then smash into the ground with my fists because I am a vegetarian.

Are you a good or a bad drunk?

If a good drunk is someone who doesn't rent a Nissan Micra and fill it with half a dozen hoes, then I am not a good drunk.

Tell us your funniest story from a drunken night out...

There was this hilarious time when I got into the back of an Uber [taxi] on my own after a glass or two of Chataeux-neuf-du-pape and gently stroked the driver's neck and thighs. It was so lol.

If you could be one historical figure who would you be and why?

I would be myself 10 minutes ago. Don't ask me what I was doing 10 minutes ago but it involves a pigeon and a bag of poisoned crisps.

Who would you most like to have a pint with from history and why?

Young Stalin. Because he was fit.

If you could go back in time to any moment in history when would it be and why?

To when young Stalin was taking a bath.

Anthony Head interview

What's your secret drunk munchies food?

There's nothing secret about nuts.

Are you a good or a bad drunk?

Good - just like to be gently merry, not bladdered (favourite tipple: tequila, the only euphoric) because I prefer to laugh than watch the room spin - or throw up.

Tell us your funniest story from a drunken night out...

Not exactly the funniest - on a 21st birthday, somebody thought it would be fun to buy me as many whisky & cokes as I was old - I got to eighteen before I had to be carried out of the pub. My girlfriend at the time was not happy - she had planned an evening's celebrations. I was just ill.

OR

Celebrating my daughter's 21st birthday in NY, I finished off my partner's very strong margherita - just... one... too... many. Got the giggles as my other daughter was very seriously trying to confirm our flight back to LA. Silly giggles. One daughter getting crosser, the other finding it very funny and videoing it. Just could not stop laughing, crying with laughter - decided I'd like to go to Munich instead.

If you could be one historical figure who would you be and why?

Leonardo Da Vinci - I'd just like to have a feel of what it must be like to have that mind and that talent. Wouldn't have to be for long, I might not be able to cope.

Who would you most like to have a pint with from history and why?

Oscar Wilde - to bask in that wit for a while, although I'd probably struggle to keep up.

If you could go back in time to any moment in history when would it be and why?

The building of Stonehenge - how the hell?