Featuring: Mel Smith (Colin Watkins).
Colin is asked to do a radio phone-in by his boss Travers to get some positive publicity for British Rail. But it turns out nobody wants to listen to Colin's answers to their query's, they just want to have a good old grumble. Not unexpectedly, Colin lets one caller have it with both barrels.
Colin's the best man at Trevor's wedding, but the speech dies a death which leads him to generally abuse the guests.
Colin and Jen are at a restaurant and Colin loses it when he finds the language ties him up in knots. As does his choice of meal.