Saffy is departing for Africa with Jane to marry John, Jane's father. Upon discovering that her mother will not be joining her, she makes Eddy promise not to carry out any renovations to the house, as she wants Jane to recognise her surroundings when they return.
After Saffron leaves, Edina and Patsy start to party, but Patsy collapses and needs to go to hopital. In her absence, Edina hires designers Bettina and Max, former friends whose marriage has since deteriorated. Max is now gay and Bettina is insane - and on day release from Broadmoor.
The pair gut the entire basement, reducing the former kitchen to a bare white box, but are unable to complete the assignment as Bettina has a further breakdown.
Patsy returns from hopital, with only half of her operation completed, and Saffron returns from Africa, furious at the state of the house. It appears that the wedding did not go as planned - Saffron was one of several wives marrying John and will only see him every few months.
When Saffy orders Edina to finish the renovations immediately, Edina goes to the Terence Conran shop, where Conran himself cannot help her. She then visits eccentric interior designer Kunz, flanked by his assistant Yoko, and is equally unable to find inspiration or define her vision for the kitchen.
However, Kunz suggests that Eddy may have seen the ideal living space she craves in a past life. She summons nutty regression therapist to the stars, Crystalline, but it is Patsy who manages to fall into a previous existence, not Edina.
Saffy returns to find her mother indulging in this new age nonsense rather than getting the renovation job done, and a conflict breaks out between the two. During the argument, Jane grabs Edina's hand and Edina flicks her off, striking the toddler in the process.
Seeing her child subjected to the kind of physical torment that she suffered emotionally, Saffron snaps and orders Edina and Patsy out of the house - it turns out that the property is legally in her name. Edina fires back that she is glad to go but Patsy, in spite of an impassioned speech from Edina about the nature of a 'home', refuses to leave. Unimpressed, Saffron floors Patsy and hurls her out of the door. Edina reluctantly follows and turns to say one last thing to Saffy, but she slams the door in her face.
Later, Gran has renovated the downstairs area in an English cottage style that Saffron accepts, even though the curtains have been fixed in place by staples. Gran hands Saffron an envelope. Saffy accepts it warmly, thinking it is a card, but Gran tells her that it is a bill for the renovations. With the emotionally distant Gran gone and with only her infant child for company, Saffron finds that she is alone.
Meanwhile, Edina and Patsy are unpacking glasses and drinking chamapgne in plush, ultra hip new digs. They sit down and look out of a large window, deciding not to get curtains. As we pull back from the duo, it becomes apparent that the wayward friends have in fact merely moved into the Terence Conran Shop.
Also known as Decoratin'.
- Saturday 25th December 2004
- BBC One
- 45 minutes
Cast & crew
|Mo Gaffney||Bo (Marshall's Wife)|
|Christopher Ryan||Marshall (Edina's Ex-husband)|
|Terence Conran (as Sir Terence Conran)||Self|
|Ruby Wax||Script Editor|
|Harry Banks||Production Designer|
|Jon Plowman||Executive Producer|