The Lentil Sorters. Copyright: Pozzitive Productions.

The Lentil Sorters

BBC Radio 4 sitcom. 4 episodes (1 series) in 2015. Stars Vincent Franklin, Rebekah Staton, Kieran Hodgson and Julia Deakin.


AKA: Graham Quicks.  Head of the People and Places Department.   Played by: Vincent Franklin

There are three things in the world that Graham will always have faith in - statistics, the supremacy of Filofaxes over computers and the idea that cardigans will never go out of style.


AKA: Audrey Carr.  Survey Researcher.   Played by: Rebekah Staton

Audrey believes passionately that statistics should be used as a tool to help the man on the street. Fortunately for her, she's never actually met "the man on the street". She's also passionate about Jane Austen, Les Miserables and pretending that she doesn't work in an office with Daniel.


AKA: Daniel Porter.  Data Analyst.   Played by: Kieran Hodgson

Daniel used to work in the City, until the City realised he was a colossal waste of space. He divides his time between manipulating statistics to further his vision of capitalism, necking energy drinks and telling people his thighs are really, really strong. He's terrible.

Mrs Wilkins

Played by: Julia Deakin

Mrs Wilkins has worked as tea lady, archivist and maintenance guru for 15 years. She knows where the bodies are buried. We must stress that that is a figure of speech.