Neddie Seagoon (Series 3-10)
A small, fat, affable but idiotic Welshman, Neddie is always looking for a way to make money and to be either famous or remembered. However, Neddie's greed tends to be his downfall, often leading him to be conned or exploited by those around him.
Hercules Grytpype-Thynne (Series 3-10)
Grytpype sounds incredibly smooth, sophisticated and cool. However, he has no money in the world, despite constantly talking about it. He spends most of his time conning Neddie out of money, while victimising his associate Moriarty.
Count Jim Moriarty (Series 3-10)
Moriarty is a poverty-stricken French nobleman, who has since turned to crime in order to keep himself going. He works alongside Grytpype, but Grytpype tends to victimise him. The more the series goes on, the more Moriarty is bullied.
Eccles (Series 2-10)
Eccles is a tall, lanky, amiable, well-meaning, but incredibly stupid teenager, once described by Neddie as being,
the nearest thing I had seen to a human being without actually being one. He is simple, yet loveable, being rather childish in his behaviour, hence being friendly with Bluebottle.
Bluebottle (Series 3-10)
Bluebottle is a boy scout from East Finchley, who spends most of his time on the show reading out the stage directions he is given. Nearly every time he appears on the show, he ends up being blown up or 'Deaded'. In later episodes, Bluebottle became aware of the danger and started to realise when he was going to be deaded.
Major Dennis Bloodnok (Series 2-10)
Bloodnok served in India during his time in the army, but he was thrown out after he was caught dressing up as a woman. In his defence, he claimed that it was carnival night. Bloodnok is constantly on the lookout for money and for any women he has a chance of getting off with, with the one woman in question being Minnie Banister. He also suffers from constant flatulence.
Henry Crun (Series 3-10)
Henry is an old yet forgetful man who is often found serving the story in some key capacity. Henry's main interest comes in the shape of Mimmie Banister, whose musical tastes drive him mad with passion.
Minnie Bannister (Series 3-10)
Minnie is of a similar age to Henry Crun and serves as a love interest to both him and Major Bloodnok. She enjoys all kinds of modern music and likes to play the saxophone.
Professor Osric Pureheart (Series 1-2)
In the early years of series, Professor Pureheart was the main character. He was an absent-minded professor whose plans never seemed to come off the way he wanted them to.