Alan and Murray visit the shopping centre to try out the Global Village Cafe. Kate is having the worst day of her life.

Alan and Murray go to the opening of the Global Village Café, a shop which serves food from all over the world. Seeing as it is an "All You Can Eat" day at the restaurant, both plan to eat as much as they can.

Meanwhile, Kate has to get the train to Ludlow in order to meet her mother, who is having her birthday. The day however starts of badly when the train is delayed for no good reason; she is forced to sit next to possibly the most annoying railway passenger in the world, and the driver of the replacement bus service develops a surly mood towards her.

After nearly eating out the Global Village Café, the owner offers them a raffle prize if Alan and Murray will go away. The prize is VIP tickets to see the premier of the new movie based on American TV series The X-Files and being taken to the film via limousine.

At the party, Alan and Murray get talking to all sorts of celebrities. Murray chats to Jarvis Cocker and the two agree to take part in an "All You Can Eat" competition (All food ate in alphabetical order). Alan tries to pull Gillian Anderson, although the conversation takes an unusual turn when she keeps saying, "There's a perfectly rational explanation" to almost everything.

When Kate manages to get to her parents house, it turns out they have gone to a surprise birthday party. Kate is therefore left looking after the house on her own, if nothing but bad radio and Channel Five for company. While watching the TV, she discovers Murray and Alan at the film premier, making a bad day even worse.

However, Murray gets to close to an arguing Tony Blair and William Hague, and spills Bucks Fizz down the Prime Minister's suit. This results in the PM's bodyguards pouncing on Murray and arresting him.

Alan meanwhile does manage to pull Gillian and ends up sleeping with her, but things are not always as they seem. It turns out she is actually a look-a-like from Birmingham who can also do a good impersonation of Trevor Brooking.