Hordes Of The Things. Copyright: BBC
Hordes Of The Things

Hordes Of The Things

  • Radio sitcom
  • BBC Radio 4
  • 1980
  • 4 episodes (1 series)

A radio series parodying J.R.R. Tolkien's Lord of the Rings trilogy, written by John Lloyd and Andrew Marshall. Stars Frank Middlemass, Paul Eddington, Simon Callow, Maggie Steed, Jonathan Lynn and more.

About Hordes Of The Things

Hordes of the Things is a sitcom, acting as a parody of J. R. R. Tolkien's classic fantasy series Lord of the Rings. This radio series was written by Andrew Marshall (as A. P. R. Marshall) and John Lloyd (as J. H. W. Lloyd).

The series, narrated by Patrick Magee, takes place in the world of Middle-Sea, a land which is almost entirely ruled by a shadowy figure known only as 'The Evil One' (cue a crack of thunder). The only place not to fall under her wrath is the small kingdom of Albion. Considering the fact that Albion is an ancient name for Britain and that The Evil One is referred to as female, it is often believed that The Evil One is meant to be a reference to Margaret Thatcher, who had just come to power. However, other people have taken it to mean the European Union, trade unions and even feminism.

The Kingdom of Albion is ruled by unsuitably named King Yulfric the Wise III, played by Paul Eddington, in a role which could be seen as highly similar to his portrayal of Jim Hacker MP in Yes Minister. Yulfric is often trying to express his tolerance of the forces of evil. His wife Queen Elfreda (Maggie Stead) tries to show him that they are tricking him, but to no avail. His son, Crown Prince Veganin (Simon Callow) eventually becomes tired of his father and goes forth to defeat the forces of evil on his own.

Meanwhile, there is the great wizard Radox the Green (Frank Middlemass). Using his particular knowledge of the number seven, a gift the elves have given the humans, although in retrospect some weapons would have been good as well! Radox discovers a woodpoacher called Agar son of Athar (Christian Rodska), who he claims could well be a hero that could save Albion. Agar, with the help of the gigantic and gluttonous dwarf Golin Longshanks (Jonathan Lynn) are therefore sent to find the mighty Summontrumpet, which when blown by a hero of noble birth will summon forth six more heroes, who together will save the kingdom.

Hordes of the Things was broadcast the same year that the original radio version of the highly successful science fiction parody The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy was broadcast, and it was hoped that it would be as successful. However, it was not. It only lasted four episodes, was repeated once and has never been released commercially. The series remained largely forgotten until the series was repeated on BBC 7, although the episodes were abridged. However, for fans of parody and indeed of Tolkien, this series is of real interest.

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