Alun Cochrane has a 25 year mortgage which he can only pay off by being funny.

In this series he takes us on a room by room, stand-up tour of his house. He has a fridge that beeps at him when he doesn't move quickly enough and a fire alarm he can't reach.

His relationship with his house is a complicated one. A hoarder of funny and original observations on everyday life, Alun invites us to help him de-clutter his mind and tidy his ideas into one of those bags that you hoover all the air out of and keep under your bed.

This show will help Alun and his house work through their relationship issues and prevent a separation that Alun can ill afford; at least not until the market picks up anyway.

Alun is joined by Gavin Osborn, who chips in with some thoughts and provides some music for the end of the show.

"If you live further away than that I probably wouldn't bother applying as the best 28 minutes of it should end up on Radio 4 anyway."