Series 2, Episode 6 - Summer Holiday
Everyone is in holiday spirits, but no one can work out where to go!
Billy lets Moira use his computer to access the internet, but he is very protective of his password. Sadly, he doesn't realise that he's saying it out loud as he types it. She looks at holiday villas, but is disheartened because they are all too expensive.
Patrick gets frustrated when neither Helen or Charlie will hurry up to get ready to go out for a meal. Charlie is desperate to be allowed to go on a school skiing trip so spends most of the meal begging and crawling to her parents. Patrick claims school trips have changed since he was a kid and because of his past school trips he never wants to go near the Lake District again! Helen has been offered a cottage in the Lake District so teases Patrick mercilessly about 'a little bit of rain' ("did you want your mummy? Did your wellies go sloshy?!") Charlie tries to stick up for her mum, but Patrick threatens that he won't let her ski.
Joe and Maria are desperate to get away from the pub for a week, but don't feel like they can leave the pub without someone in charge. Patrick also pops round to Billy's to look on his internet at villas, but Billy is distracted by an email. He sends his 'minion' Patrick to get Moira, even though it's past midnight. A couple who got married the same day as them has got in contact to celebrate their 25th wedding anniversary together. Billy and Moira really hated them because they were so competitive and so they pretend to be married to meet up with them. Patrick is mortified when Helen offers them their house temporarily so they can pretend to be married properly. Helen then claims they have no choice but to go to the Lake District. Thankfully (for Patrick), when she announces this, Maria and Joe say they went to the Lake District for their Honeymoon and are desperate to go back. Patrick quickly tells them they should take the cottage and they would run the pub. Much to their surprise, they really enjoy running the pub and Helen starts to consider whether she really enjoys her current job. The episode concludes with the revelation that Moira and Billy's "friends" are no longer married either, just pretending!
- Friday 25th October 2002
- BBC Radio 4
- 30 minutes
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