Born under the flightpath of Heathrow Airport, Simon dreamt of becoming a pilot.

Discovering that a fear of heights and flying put him at a disadvantage, he concentrated on putting his talents to use in other areas.

Discovering having no talents put him at a disadvantage, he concentrated on feeling bitter and sorry for himself.

It was then that Simon became a comedian.

Often described as "quite amusing" Simon invites you to join him as he searches for acceptance from those around him.

Simon likes football, films and music, although his tastes in all of these is questionable.

He's 5'9" and was born in July.

He likes pizza, dogs and beer, and hates tomatoes, cats and gin.