John Bishop to captain Sport Relief team

John Bishop and four-time Olympic medal winner Sebastian Coe will captain two teams of celebrities and go head to head in a series of sporting challenges at Queen Elizabeth Olympic Park as part of the Sport Relief Night of TV on Friday 21 March.

No one was surprised when a member of the Olympic Deliverance Committee was shot in the foot last week. After all, they do it to themselves all the time. But this was an actual bullet from a real gun. As you would expect. the incident is smeared in a thick gloss of PR, when it's described as "a totally routine accident".

Meanwhile, bluff Nick "I can't help being from Yorkshire" Jowett takes command as everyone discusses Inclusivity Day. Dame Tanni Grey-Thompson makes a game cameo, Danny Boyle wants more nurses for the opening ceremony, Ian's PA is stolen by Sebastian Coe, though his replacement hits the ground running, and there's an excruciating tree planting ceremony. Hilarious.

My favourite sitcom returns for a two-part special, inspired by the unavoidable-and-almost-upon-us London Olympics.

Satan (the devilishly good Andy Hamilton) has seen it all before, ever since 776 BC to be precise, and he's not impressed. Fellow inmate Edith (Annette Crosbie), the historian who apparently committed suicide while watching Midsomer Murders, is delighted by the prospect. Satan has no choice but to correct her rose-tinted view and carts her off to meet the Ancient Greek Olympics Committee. They are all in hell, and we soon understand why. (Let's hope the same fate does not await Sebastian Coe.)

Next week's edition returns the wretched underworld losers to 2012. Satan agrees to take Edith to the London Olympics, but it's more a case of going for Gehenna than for gold.

It should be simple. A delegation from Rio de Janeiro is in town and the Olympic Deliverance Commission has to greet them at their Mayfair hotel then coach them out east to the London 2012 site for lunch with Sebastian Coe. Unfortunately, the driver is more familiar with Nottingham, and satire steers into farce as the coach plunges twice into the Blackwall Tunnel before bombing up the M11. As this ODC odyssey unfolds, team boss Ian (Hugh Bonneville) remains resolutely tactful and tactical, while a no-nonsense Portuguese interpreter (Karina Fernandez) translates Ian and co's diversionary flannel as she sees fit. Perhaps funniest of all is Head of Sustainability Kay Hope (superb Amelia Bullmore), who has to field irate calls from the school of her scissor-happy son: "He's a very imaginative boy. You are aware of that?" Kudos, too, to Coe, whose cameo lends the whole show credibility.

The second episode sees the Olympics Deliverance Committee on a hellish journey to meet Sebastian Coe at the Olympic stadium. After picking up delegates from Brazil's committee, the going gets slower and slower, allowing the team to deliver more of their trademark government-speak nonsense while Graham, Head Of Infrastructure, turns into a punishing backseat driver. It's a good mix of The Thick Of It and People Like Us, two shows this shares its DNA with.

When London's countdown clock to the Olympics ­malfunctioned last week, it was an uncanny rerun of the first episode of this cruelly observed docu-spoof.

The second episode finds London's Olympic Deliverance committee stuck on a bus with a delegation from Brazil and things are still refusing to run like clockwork. They're heading for a meeting with Sebastian Coe at the Olympic Park - or then again, possibly not, thanks to the wonders of satnav and bus drivers with only the vaguest grasp of London geography.

Leading a brilliant cast is Hugh Bonneville as the ­ultra-calm Head Of ­Deliverance - a master at "managing expectations" and staying positive at all costs.

We're also loving Amelia Bullmore (Head of ­Sustainability), waffling ­meaninglessly about how "Sustainability is not legacy", as well as Jessica Hynes]s shinily robotic Head of Brand and Karl Theobald's panic-stricken Head of Infrastructure.

The narration by David Tennant is as warmly soothing as a foot rub and the job titles alone are enough to make you smile.

The only downside in this perfect comedy of cock-ups is the BBC has been accused of ripping off 1998 Australian ­mockumentary The Games, about inept officials ­planning for the Sydney Games.

The BBC strenuously denies it, but the producers of The Games claim to have had talks with the BBC's head of comedy about a British equivalent, and actually loaned the writer of this one a DVD of their own show. So has the Beeb been a very bad sport?

'Twenty Twelve' 1.1

The docuspoof/mockumentary format feels curiously old-fashioned suddenly. It's the perfect approach to take with BBC4's Twenty Twelve, which charts the efforts of an inept Olympic Deliverance Commission to promote London 2012, but there was something too safe and cozy about the whole endeavour. Almost like it's a part of the Olympic marketing and, with a future cameo from Lord Sebastian Coe himself, that's probably half-true. So, rather than deliver a scabrous and insightful criticism of the Olympic Games, Twenty Twelve is just a quietly mocking series that elicits the odd giggle.