Planet Jedward takes over the Buzzcocks studio tonight - a surreal experience that's as painful to watch as it is snortingly hilarious.

Jack Dee is the host as the pair, the type of act that could have been invented just for this show to ridicule, join Noel ­Fielding's team.

Despite prattling on 10 times as much as one normal person, John and Edward only count as one guest. Perhaps this was decided by a tally of their IQs, or, as team captain Phill Jupitus puts it: "You make Dappy from N-Dubz look like Stephen Fry."

The twins' machine gun chatter would test the patience of a saint and Jack Dee - as you may have noticed - is no holy man, although some of his crueller put-downs have sadly been cut out. Also trying to get a word in edgeways tonight are Eliza Doolittle, Katy Brand and Charlie Higson.

Whichever poor soul was given the task of having to edit this deserves a month on a sun lounger in the Maldives, wearing earplugs and an eye mask.