One random comedian, eight random questions: it's the ultimate test of funny person and fate. This week's wordy raconteur is Rob Auton, the poet and comic whose performances have featured on stage, screen - Cold Feet, no less - and on Scroobius Pip's record label, live from his house.

Auton is currently out and about though, touring The Talk Show, which "is the seventh in a series of comedy/spoken word/theatre shows I've done on a specific theme," he says. "The first one I did was in 2012 and was about yellow called The Yellow Show, I then did shows about the sky, faces, water, sleep, hair, and this one is about talking."

Well, that's what he says. Rob Auton, your Random 8 await.

What's the best thing you ever wrote?

'The watch is the wristband to the festival of punctuality.'

Is there a book or film that changed your life?

The book of short stories by Stanley Donwood called Slowly Downward made me want to use words more.

What should be Britain's next national anthem?

The Only Fools And Horses theme tune.

Which live event would you most like to have attended?

My parent's wedding.

What's your favourite shop?

The fishing tackle shop in York that I used to go in with my Dad before we went fishing. The colours of the float tips and the smell of smoke has stuck, and will stick with me for a while.

How do you feel about cats?

Intimidated. I have never won a staring competition with a cat.

What was your most regrettable purchase?

A cat.
Which place you've visited was the biggest anti-climax?

Flying Carpets in Leyton. It's just a carpet shop.