Promoters explain: "In this outrageously camp new show, (that he was going to call Bed Knobs and Knee Pads but was advised might not sell too well in Harrogate), renowned homosexual Julian Clary will bare his soul as never before in the interests of light entertainment."
"He'll murder some well-known songs along the way, no doubt, read you a sneak preview from his next memoir A Night At the Lubricant and make withering remarks about punters foolish enough to sit in the front row. You know the kind of thing. It's the only life he knows. Don't miss out.
"This might well be the final mince..."
Julian Clary himself says: "Are you ready for some filth? I know I am. It's been a while since I sallied forth to pleasure the provinces with my particular brand of saucy innuendo. Let me at them!"
Born To Mince will run from 13th March 2019, culminating in a show at the London Palladium on 8th June.
Before that, Clary will be seen on stage in the Palladium's 2018 pantomime. In December and January he'll be playing Spirit of the Bells in their version of Snow White.
Tickets for the Born To Mince tour dates are on sale now from sites including Ticketmaster
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