First Gig Worst Gig

Zoe Lyons

Zoe Lyons

Good word, 'Lyons'. There's the fine old London company Lyons that made five of the best things ever - cakes, biscuits, tea, ice cream and pies (apparently a young Mrs Thatcher worked for them too, but we'll ignore that).

And there's Zoe Lyons, who makes lovingly-crafted stand-up shows that make you think and feel a bit better about life. Her latest, Little Misfit, is "loosely based on the idea of belonging to a particular group, or rather not belonging," she says, and "covers topics from Brexit to correct bin etiquette."

Excellent. But what of her earlier shows?

First gig?

A swelteringly hot August evening in 2003 at the long running open mic night at the Kings Head in Crouch End. Also on the bill that night was Russell Kane doing his second ever gig. I remember the utter terror I felt before going on stage in that hot, smoky room. I had written some dreadful material about Iraq's questionable weapons of mass destruction. I got laughs, I was ecstatic and vowed there and then to carry on and make a go at being a comic.

Favourite show, ever?

There used to be a bar in one of the gate houses right outside Euston station. They had a comedy night once a month and it was a tremendous little venue, it was also the first gig I ever got paid for. When I got off stage the promotor handed me £15. I had no idea I was getting "paid" and it was a real turning point. I was now a jobbing comic.

Zoe Lyons. Copyright: Mark Vessey

Worst gig?

Dying in front of friends is never a great experience and early on in my career I was doing a ten at Stephen Grant's brilliant Krater club in Brighton. It was a big gig for me, I wasn't used to playing to that many punters and friends had come along and sat right in the front, I mean right at the fucking front. Inevitably I died on my arse so badly, it was painful and all I could see were the confused faces of my friends on the front table witnessing the brutal death of their "comedian" friend. I couldn't sleep for two days after that. The flashbacks were horrific.

Who's the most disagreeable person you've come across in the business?

Oh my God, I am way too much of a coward to slag anyone off here. That behavior I reserve for long car journeys with fellow comics.

The weirdest gig?

I once did a gig to builders at 8:30am in a builder's trade outlet to promote their new plumbing department. I was stood between a rack of shower heads and wall brackets. It went exactly as you might expect.

What's your best insider travel tip, for touring comics?

Take a pair of slippers with you if you are staying away for a few nights. It is a tiny bit of home comfort when on the road. Plus the fact that those Travelodge carpets are full of stranger's skin particles. Also, always have at least one plastic folk in your bag, it is a real ball ache to try to eat a Pot Noddle with a hotel teaspoon.

The most memorable review, heckle or post-gig reaction?

I had a slightly overzealous fan in Swansea ask me if she could pick me up after a show. I don't mean a romantic pick-up, she just wanted to physically lift me off the ground. I politely declined the offer.

How do you feel about where your career is at, right now?

I think like every single comic I have met, I am happy with my career one day and then in utter despair the next. Having said that I am in a nice place of being able to do a couple of different things now, more radio etc. I was never one for a five year plan or indeed any sort of plan. My career, I think, has been a sequence of events that has thus far panned out ok.

Zoe Lyons is touring 'Little Misfit' until the 4th December. For more information and to buy tickets see zoelyons.co.uk


Published: Thursday 27th October 2016

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