David Elms

Written by: Si Hawkins
Published: Friday 8th November 2024

It was the first of times, it was the worst of times. And this time we welcome actor, improviser and living person of Christmas future, David Elms, who'll be gracing London's West End over the festive season. The show: Nick Mohammed's A Christmas Carol(ish), also starring Martha Howe-Douglas and Kieran Hodgson.

Which begs the question: what the dickens are they up to?

"Imagine the silliest man you know had access to hundreds of thousands of pounds and the keys to a West End venue but the only thing he knew about A Christmas Carol was that Scrooge wears a nightie," Elms elaborates. "My part in it is to furrow my brow, shake my head, and constantly remind everyone that we need to move on."

The comic is a stalwart of Mohammed's ensembles, playing Mr Swallow's hapless director, Mr Goldsworth. It's their ten-year anniversary, in fact.

"I saw the Mr Swallow shows in 2010 and 2012 and was a huge, huge fan," he says. "Then in early 2014 I happened to be in the office of The Invisible Dot (it was also the green room) and saw on their Fringe-planning whiteboard the words Mr Swallow - The Musical. I asked to audition and the rest is showbiz history.

"Funnily enough, Kieran Hodgson and I both auditioned with the song Stars from Les Mis. I was a total musical theatre newbie and I remember the director Matt asking me to sing it again but to try opening my mouth this time."

They dreamed a dream. Elms' major metier is improv, with his regular London night David Elms Describes a Room, in which he does just that. Is Mohammed generally amenable to improv too - in rehearsals at least?

"Nick is very naughty and always includes parts of the script where he is allowed to do something different every time. As Mr Goldsworth my job in these moments is just to not laugh. In terms of improvising around the script, he's amenable to new ideas, certainly, but with a show this scale the rehearsals are mainly about standing in the right place at the right time and it's best not to improvise that stuff."

On your marks, David Elms, it's time for First Gig, Worst Gig.

First gig?

It was 2010, the Edinburgh Revue Stand-Up of the Year competition. A friend who I had written jokes with for a short-lived satirical newspaper suggested I enter and I had the youthful confidence (arrogance?) to do so. I stripped to my pants and read a war poem and came third.

Favourite show, ever?

The first time I did my improvised show David Elms Describes a Room in May 2022 sticks out. I didn't know if it would work, so when it did it was a dreamy combination of massive relief and also exhilaration at having discovered a way to play with the audience for an hour.

Worst gig?

I did a gig for kids once but I thought the kids were going to be older than they were... I turned up and the act before me had them rolling in the aisles by being so full of bogeys that he had bogeys in his farts. During my set the children were literally gurning with boredom and some of them just started walking around looking for any kind of stimulation.

Which one person influenced your comedy life most significantly?

My now wife took me to see a Tim Key and Jonny Sweet double bill at Soho Theatre in February 2010 (Slutcracker and Mostly About Arthur) and I left wanting to be an alternative comedian. She's also supported me since then, including taking on the lion's share of childcare for this upcoming six-week run. I couldn't do it without her.

And who's the most disagreeable person you've come across in the business?

My first fringe in 2010 I did a sketch show in the caves. This was before they had been refurbished so it really did feel like performing in a cave. As August wore on the room started smelling worse and worse and we had no idea why. It was foul to the point that it genuinely affected the show.

Then we found out that Dr Brown had been throwing milk at the walls every night during his clown business, as well as leaving rotten bananas everywhere. I think that's pretty disrespectful to the other performers in the venue, even if you're a once-in-a-generation talent, so I don't have any problem naming him. Fuck you, Dr Brown!

Is there one routine/gag you loved, that audiences inexplicably didn't?

I used to have a joke that was: 'Why do Carlsberg stick to beer?' It had about a 15% success rate, even when those ads were still running. Luckily I never really took stuff out of my sets based on audience reaction, which is probably why my stand-up career took off the way it did and I'm writing this from backstage at the Apollo.

Your most memorable Christmas show (as performer or punter)?

Well, I mean, I shit my pants in the wings of Ricky Whittington on New Year's Eve in 2016.

Any reviews, heckles or post-gig reactions stick in the mind?

I split an hour at the Fringe with Adam Hess in 2013 and we got a two-star review that said 'two stars, one each'. I still feel bad for Adam about that one because it was such a lop-sided hour. Adam had to come on at the beginning to get the crowd warm, bring me on, and then come back after me to save the gig every day.

The worst heckle I've had, someone just shouted 'forehead'.

The most memorable post-gig reaction: an older relation telling me I was too clever to be doing this kind of thing, which is probably the stupidest thing anyone could say about doing comedy. It was weirdly motivating.

How do you feel about where your career is at, right now?

On the one hand I feel offended to be asked such an impertinent question, and on the other hand I feel flattered at the suggestion I have a career. I've been luckier than I deserve, how's that?

A Christmas Carol(ish) is at London's Soho Place from 16th Nov - 31st Dec 2024. Tickets