Billy Kirkwood interview

Billy Kirkwood

Scottish stand-up Billy Kirkwood had a rollercoaster 2016. This interview catches up with him as he prepares to launch his new solo show, plus a couple of special one-off shows, as part of the Glasgow Comedy Festival.

Hi Billy. Important question first: would you rather fight an antler-less moose or a two legged bear?

That's a difficult one. Do the bear's legs not count as arms? Are legs the arms of the pelvis? That moose still has that mouth. There's nothing worse than getting bit by a moose. Then again, I think I would get in less trouble for killing a moose. Although, having seen The Revenant, where he gets really messed up by a bear, but also having seen Disney's Brother Bear, where the moose seems alright, I'm gonna go with antler-less moose: I could just make fun of it and make it feel insecure.

An excellent choice. In 2015 you were in a serious car accident, how would you say this has affected your outlook?

It's probably taught me to savour the moments. I will never look back until I think my career is over. It has always been: "ahead, ahead, ahead. What's the next challenge?" And that's the thing about the car accident, looking at it and saying "well I didn't die." So why approach things with fear? I would rather go into something and fail on my own merits than being afraid to try. I certainly think I've lost the fear aspect of things.

That's not to say I don't get nervous, but it's "go in or go home." I think where I am right now, people want to be mainstream and be safe and I've realised I've made a living for a long time by not being mainstream or safe, so I'm going to keep going.

Billy Kirkwood

Away from the stage, you became a father for the second time: how are you enjoying parenthood?

It has so many rewards. It has made me more focused in terms of my career: I now work harder to make sure I get home to spend time with my kids. I love them with all my heart, I love my wife even more - I didn't think that was possible - for making me a dad.

It's trying: certainly when you're away from home. I test any man of any heart or real worth for his heart not to melt and sink if your son is crying because he's realised you're going away.

It's trying. It's aged me horribly [laughs]. It has made me appreciate people more, there is nothing more humbling than becoming a parent. Parenting is really just trying to be a better person.

How do you find juggling this with being a travelling comedian?

It's challenging. I'm away most weekends and mornings but, when I can, I take my family with me. I travel so much, and I work so hard, so that I can take time off to spend with my family. It has also focused me more on certain things, I'm working on some kids comedy and a few kids books (which I know everyone says, but I actually am!). It can be very hard, but my wife has been nothing but supportive. Frankly, if anyone should get adulation or praise for this, it should be her.

You recently made the major move into radio, as West FM's breakfast DJ...

It is learning a whole new set of skills. It's about trying to find that happy medium, I've done comedy for kids and non-swearing comedy for adults, but trying to do that every morning, in a live situation, is very difficult: trying to be entertaining while still getting people up in the morning and getting them the information that they need, it's being a broadcaster in a way I never have before.

Everyone I know who does this has five or six years behind them; I'm four months in! I'm aiming to get the basics down and add the sparkle later. It is very different from stand-up, it's like being a learner driver again. I'm just trying to get looser and keep developing, to get "through the gears" to allow me to add more of myself into the role.

Changing topics slightly, in November last year you performed in the Glasgow Hydro arena as lead commentator for Insane Championship Wrestling (ICW). What did that mean to you?

It meant so much to me on so many levels. There are not many comedians who have got to perform to 6,000 people in the Hydro: whether that was as a part of ICW or not, I got to go out there and make 6,000 people laugh and have a good time, and bring that unique opening, that warm up. They have let me do for the last six years.

To go out there, to hear them chant your name, to feel that excitement, to let them know we're gonna have a good time, and to let them know how much we appreciate them being there, was just unbelievable. You know, it's a real success project. To be the wee schemey guy from Irvine, who shouldn't be where he is, who shouldn't be able to get these unique experiences that I've got from Insane Championship Wrestling, I am so grateful to be a part of that and to do it with people I now consider as friends. It's very hard not to be humbled by it all.

Billy Kirkwood

As you say, you've been with ICW for a long time now, did you ever think it would reach that level?

To see the rate it was growing at, and the way they overcame every hurdle; to see them go from 200 people, to 300, to 500, to 1,000, 2,000... I doubted it, just like everyone did to a degree, but I did think it could get there. It was a fantasy, but to see it happen in reality is mind blowing.

At this year's Glasgow comedy festival you are involved in a couple of different shows and seem to have a close attachment to the city, what does Glasgow mean to you?

Glasgow is my adopted home. While I am a proud Ayrshiredonian: Glasgow is the city I cut my teeth as a stand-up, the city I went to college. The people of Glasgow have been very kind to me and I've had some of the most wonderful experiences of my life there.

The people have such a warmth and enthusiasm that you just want to perform for them. Not to take anything away from any other city, but I have been a part of the Glasgow Comedy Festival for 9 years and it means so much to me.

The memory I always go back to is, we did a gig for the Clutha Trust that was put together in a matter of days by Alan Anderson after the Clutha helicopter crash and it sold out in less than 24 hours. Regardless of if I was going to be on the line-up or not, I was so excited that gig was happening, because I think it really gave people hope, and I think that's what Glasgow does.

Even us twisted, embittered, rowdy Scots, as people we can be just amazing when it matters. I think Glasgow and Glaswegians are very indicative of that, I think it's one of the most wonderful cities, inhabited by the most wonderful people.

Billy Kirkwood: Sheer Utter Chaos. Billy Kirkwood

You bring new shows and concepts to the festival every year, why do you keep coming back?

I think, as I've said, Glasgow just means so much to me that I want to keep coming back and going "look, look I've got something new and different." I kinda want to try out my different concepts here, and give them their 'world premiere' at the Glasgow Comedy Festival; it led to the birth of Watch Bad Movies With Great Comedians; Show Me Your Tattoo, and even me doing solo shows!

It's about bringing these unique concepts because I feel they're the people that will give you honest feedback without throwing you under the bus. I cut my teeth in Glasgow, and I just want to keep giving it something different; I very much like the idea of not being settled, of always scrambling with something different. So that's why I'll keep coming back, every year... until I'm dead!

Your brand new solo show, Sheer Utter Chaos, debuts at The Stand Comedy Club in Glasgow on Monday 20th March. Could you explain the meaning behind the show?

I did a show last year called Just Being Funny, and before that At Least I'm Having Fun, and I always think it's indicative of where my mind is. Sheer Utter Chaos, I want to make people laugh of course, but I guess I just want to give people a snapshot of where my life is at the moment, a glimpse of the tumbling ball of just utter, utter fucking mayhem!

Here I am as a parent, doing the breakfast DJ thing, travelling the world, writing gags, working on all these different things and still thinking about new projects: sheer utter chaos is just what everyone's life is!

No-one's life is easy, all our lives are mental and I just want to tell some of the stories from my point of view, that I've recognised that we are all just swirling through this giant chasm that is meant to be the universe and trying not to take life too seriously.

It's OK to get angry, it's OK to have a sense of humour about things, just try not to take life so seriously and we're all guilty of it. Life is complicated but, you know something? Fuck it, just keep going.

What makes it different from your other shows?

It's very, very loose. There's a lot of interaction with the crowd, a lot of reacting to how things are. It's certainly very different from what you would maybe see me doing on a regular Saturday night, or for a Stag Party in Leeds, it's a real gaze into my cerebral cortex: you'll be able to taste the spinal fluid. Enjoy the punch!

Image shows from L to R: Billy Kirkwood, Neil Bratchpiece

You're performing PLEASE?! With Neil 'Wee Man' Bratchpiece in Blackfriars on the 16th March: what can you tell us about the show?

Myself and Neil have been friends for a while now, and we have realised that we enjoy performing together but we also have very similar tastes in when we like things to get a little bit weird. That's what the show is. It's the alternative of the alternative. If you've seen us before... you've never seen anything like this before. It's a different branch of our comedy that we don't get to pull out very often. It's bringing together surreal and different ideas.

It's very off the wall: you're gonna walk away thinking "that was really funny but I just don't know why!" For example there's a thrash-metal trombone band. They're part of the show. There's also going to be a wedding... just so many silly things! It's bringing those little thoughts that make you laugh but you think "I can't say that in front of an audience" in front of an audience.

What would you say to anyone who hasn't seen you live before?

All I want to do is have a laugh and entertain you. Consider me the gatekeeper to you laughing, I just want us all to have a good time. I am genuinely excited to be there, it's not a job for me, it's a privilege.

2016 was a huge year for you, what's your goal for 2017?

Every year I set goals and new challenges. I certainly want to tour Sheer Utter Chaos more, more Bad Movies With Great Comedians, maybe on the road, possibly taking some shows to the Edinburgh Festival to try them out and a new kids show (Blabbermouths) which we are definitely going to work on more! Hopefully also another big, big year for ICW.

I've made a career moving forward because you never know what's round the next corner and saying 'yes' to everything... although I have said 'no' to some things recently [laughs]. But just to keep moving on, being as creative and happy as possible. Making people laugh for a couple minutes of their day.

Published: Tuesday 7th March 2017

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