BEASTS interview

Beasts. Image shows from L to R: James McNicholas, Owen Roberts, Ciarán Dowd

Britain's own Beastie Boys, but with significantly less jazz samples, funky beats and probably no rapping whatsoever, sketch trio BEASTS bring their big-hit 2016 Edinburgh Fringe show to the Soho Theatre this week. Well, sort of. Obviously they can't still call it Mr Edinburgh 2016 - that'd be madness - but has anything else changed in the tumultuous seven months since then? We asked the bespectacled BEAST, James McNicholas.

Tell us about your new high-concept show/event/competition.

For years our shows have basically been a poorly-masked contest to see which of us is best. Now we've just taken off the mask. This is all out war - a riotous pageant to decide who is the best man in BEASTS/Soho/the world.

It's now called Mr Soho 2017: is it exactly the same? Do you regret being so time/place specific?

We carried out an exhaustive 'find + replace' on the script and are basically hoping it holds together. No, there have been a few tweaks here and there, but it's essentially the same show.

How would you describe the three members of BEASTS on, say, a dating app?

Owen: Britain's sexiest uncle.

Ciaran: Sparkly eyes, spongey body.

James: The kind of guy you'd take back to your mum (if she worked as a guard in a high-security prison).

Beasts. Image shows from L to R: James McNicholas, Owen Roberts, Ciarán Dowd

How annoyed are BEASTS about the film Fantastic Beasts & Where to Find Them, which presumably buggers up your Google-searchability?

We're pretty hacked off. We've been fantastic BEASTS for years, and now that film appears to have scuppered anyone's chances of actually finding us. Consequently, we're thinking of changing our name to something more uniquely googleable like 'restaurants near me'.

What was the most interesting moment of last year's Edinburgh stint?

One night we were on stage playing out a particularly dramatic moment, when we heard a sharp intake of breath from the audience. We initially assumed the crowd's gasps were merely due recognition for our astonishing acting. In fact, an enormous spider had descended from the ceiling of the venue and was dangling just above Owen's head, perfectly lit in a spotlight.

The next five minutes of the show was an attempt to deal with the spider without any of us crying. It was arguably our best show, and we've subsequently allowed Spidey the Spider to join the group as a fourth member.

And the most interesting review for that run of the show?

We had one review that seemed very concerned about the health and safety element of the show. It's fake! We're not really fighting! We're friends!

Who's the most sensitive BEAST, when it comes to that stuff?

James might be the most sensitive because to him the internet is family, so he hates it when it says mean things about him.

The world has gone mad since last August. How much responsibility do BEASTS take for this?

While we accept the correlation appears uncanny, as far as we know Brexit and Trump are nothing to do with us. But we did kill all those celebrities.

Do you have more Edinburgh plans this year?

No Edinburgh this year! It's an unfamiliar sensation but a wonderfully relaxing one too (like a colonic?)

What will you all do instead?

James is getting married (which is basically like putting on a fringe show except the costumes are more expensive), Owen is doing some directing and Ciaran is in a Hollywood film with The Rock. We still think James getting married seems the least plausible, but there you go.

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