Zoe Lyons: The tours that never were

Zoe Lyons

Direct from last year's Edinburgh Festival - Zoe Lyons' critically acclaimed solo show Mustard Cutter is set to tour the UK, starting on 5th May at Bristol's Lantern Theatre and culminating at the Colchester Arts Centre on 4th July.

Mustard Cutter is full of Lyons' trademark high energy and well observed routines. Packed with sharply written material, the show was showered with star ratings at the festival, for example it was described by The Herald Scotland as featuring "proper laugh-out-loud one liners and cleverly interwoven comedy subplots".

As fans of the live circuit will know, Zoe has been touring comedy shows for a number of years now. Mustard Cutter is certainly one of her more unique show titles, but what other names did she consider? Here she provides BCG with five titles that never made it to her posters...

I have of course, like many comics, felt the urge to "pun up" the title of a show but have thus far successfully resisted. The one that nearly made it was "Lyons Raw". Actually, secretly I still think that one is quite good.

One year, when I was talking about same sex marriage in a show, "Pride of Lyons" was momentarily considered and then mercifully binned.

A vague title is very helpful if you are writing a show from scratch. Anything too specific is going to tie you down and frustrate you. "Terms and Conditions Apply" is as vague as they come and one other I seriously toyed with was "No Gods No Golf".

Reviewers like to twist the title of a show they are critiquing back into their review, so I am constantly tempted to name a show "Who Wrote This S*#T?".

To find out more about Zoe, see the list of dates for 'Mustard Cutter', and to book tickets please visit: www.zoelyons.co.uk

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