Irish comedy trio Foil, Arms & Hog - who you might know via their funny YouTube sketches - list out here five differences they've noticed between their home country and Britain...
One of the best things about being a comedian is touring. It allows you to venture to far flung exotic locations under the guise of 'work', you also go to Darlington. Touring the UK has allowed to us to observe the cultural differences between our two countries.
Here's our top 5 favourite things that Britain has that Ireland doesn't...
1. Buses that run on time
'The bus will arrive at 15.08.' It does. WHHHATT? In Ireland this is just a guideline.
In Dublin, we once asked a bus driver what time the bus would leave at, he replied "Half ten... and I'll be leaving at half ten!" He felt the need to emphasise that, today, he would be doing his job.
2. Stand on the right
This is the first lesson you learn when you arrive in the UK. You disembark the plane, innocently stand on the left side of an escalator, and get verbally abused so soundly that even if dementia kicked in and you forgot your name you'd still remember what side of the escalator to stand on. But the system works! And when you arrive back in Ireland you feel the urge to strangle the granny in front of you standing on the left.
Usually, the only time we see Bobbys is at a fancy dress party, so in England, every time we see a police officer, we have to remind ourselves that this person is a real policeman, with a gun and a taser and doesn't need some fool giving him the thumbs up going "Great costume mate!"
4. Underground Transport
There is none back home. The only thing that happens underground in Ireland is the movement of black-market cigarettes. We don't even have moles. Go figure.
5. The Scots
There are very few of these in Ireland, or else they just blend in. The Scottish are the race that most closely resemble us. They love character assassinating each other, complaining, and laughing out loud. Like us Irish, they don't like giving out and out compliments to you after a gig.
"That was shite" said with a smile, is the best possible compliment you can get from a Scot.
Foil, Arms & Hog will be touring Britain in May and June 2015. For dates and tickets, and to see their funny YouTube sketches, visit www.foilarmsandhog.ie