Micky P Kerr. Copyright: Steve Ullathorne.

Micky P Kerr's Fringe week

There are myriad ways a comedian can become stressed on a full Edinburgh run. I'm here performing my debut hour long show and I've recently discovered this bitter truth. However, my main worries have not been performance related, I'm just struggling to survive away from home if I'm honest. Comedians are strange folk, we're needy people and some of us just NEED looking after.

Here's what I've had to contend with over the last week...

I dropped my Airbnb house key down a grate. I nearly started to cry as I watched it take its second bounce and slip down. It's a new key, I'm not used to it in my pocket and I kept taking it out to check it was there (constantly). I was obsessed with it because my girlfriend specifically told me to not lose my new house key. I was explaining to a stranger why I'd lost his house key (and nice key ring) within 23 hours. I'm even more obsessed with the new one - what happens if I lose it again? All this before I'd even done a show.

My mate (a poet) suffered an even worse fate. I received a frantic phone call just before I lost my house key. He'd managed to lock himself into his Airbnb: it was a Yale lock and he couldn't get out. His host had gone on holiday. He begged me to help, he was considering jumping out of a window, it was 2 floors up. My God I thought, how are we going to survive this?

I've been struggling to eat. I'm on one meal a day. I can't afford to eat out and my house is 30 minutes walk, this means it would take me 90 minutes minimum to walk, cook, eat and walk back. I'm flyering my show so it just ain't happening. My stomach is often rumbling on stage and I'm often feeling lightheaded if it's a sweaty one. I'm just glad I haven't fainted yet but don't rule it out.

Being away from your normal surroundings can be confusing and scary. On my fourth day I saw a mate, he was walking very quickly and looked worried.

"You ok mate?", I asked.
"Er, no mate not really" he replied. He too was in an Airbnb. He'd been sat on the toilet, when suddenly he realised he had no toilet paper. It was too late. In a panic he'd been forced to just pull them up and walk to the shop to buy some. I'd caught him mid journey. Well done for just admitting it.

There goes a brave man, I thought, as he waddled uncomfortably towards the shop...


Micky P Kerr Is Lay-Z is on until 26th August at 8pm, at Just The Tonic at the Caves.