Read this article through your fingers, as you discover what some of the comedians appearing at this year's Fringe have been through. Click on their names to find out more about their shows.
I pissed myself in karate when I was ten. You would not believe how much came out. Or, indeed, the fact that I carried on doing the kicks we were practising as a CUNNING PLAN to AVOID DETECTION. Dude in front of me thought it was raining.
I don't embarrass easily but, in my former life as a TV producer I once met Matthew Perry at an awards ceremony and called him Chandler to his face. The reaction was 'unfriendly'.
In last year's show I dressed as a sperm in my quest to have my first orgasm, driving towards a massive climax with a crowd full of strangers. Only my dad turned up as a surprise. Then left half way through. I had to go and see a tantric shaman to shake off the trauma. This show is the fall out.
I did a shit the size of my arm and blocked the toilet the first time I met my girlfriend's parents. Her dad had to unblock it and my broken up crap flooded out the drain and onto the garden. He then went 'look at those nuggets go!' I wanted to die.
I once got locked out of my flat completely naked, at 9 in the morning. I had to run to the nearest phone box to make a reverse charge call (look it up) to my girlfriend to come home from work to let me back in. Luckily, at that time, I was in great physical shape, and had (still have) a slightly larger than average penis.
Once had a lady on stage and mentioned that she obviously had been in close proximity to a penis, due to her heavily pregnant appearance. She then informed that she indeed was not pregnant, and 1,000 people sucked the air from the room.
We once competed in a show called the Uke of Edinburgh Awards: a competition in which the only criteria for entry is your act needs to involve a ukulele. We spent hours writing a ukulele-based sketch and even bought a ukulele for the big night. The guy who came second literally stripped naked whilst holding a ukulele. We came third.