Archie Maddocks says you should come to his show so he doesn't have to eat a birthday cake by himself.
1. Tell us about your career so far. Are you happy with where you're at?
I started comedy in Autumn 2012, so nearly three years ago now. So far it's been pretty cool. I've got to travel around the country and see places that I otherwise wouldn't have ever known about.
I've met lots of interesting people and got to travel internationally, so not bad at all.
I wouldn't say I'm unhappy with it, but I'm never really happy with anything, I think I'm always looking forward and seeing where I could be and how I can improve on my last set. I'll probably never be fully satisfied, except with Nutella. I'm always happy with Nutella.
2. Describe your show in exactly 23 words.
A collection of stupid stories about my inability to behave properly in most situations, and why I'm like that (desperate need for attention. Obviously).
3. Why are you putting yourself through this famously stressful experience?
I hate myself. (No, in reality, I didn't find it too stressful last year, actually really enjoyed it. Was kind of like being back at school, just hanging out with people you get on with and being stupid and stuff, that was a lot of fun. Oh also, because I'm desperate to stay away from the trappings of real life, and any way of keeping up this charade helps keep me calm).
4. Any cunning plans to get more punters in?
On my flyer it suggests that I will keep all my clothes on for the duration of the show. I'm hoping this will entice people in. Other than that, begging, and appealing to their sense of colonial guilt. Equal opportunities yo.
5. How much money do you think you'll lose/make this year?
Right now, I can only afford to buy either bread, or something to put on bread (Nutella is winning that battle right now) so if I can come away with a granary loaf and some marmalade, I'll consider it a monetary success.
6. What's your weirdest past Fringe experience?
Last year I was in The Big Value Showcase and had a two hander show called Cookies and Cream on the Free Fringe. The weirdest experience would be one of two things: Staying in a kebab shop until 6 in the morning arguing about different meat shaving techniques (you don't shave meat, they get really upset about that), or seeing more of my housemates' naked body than my own. All in all, it was a good August.
7. What other shows are you hoping to see?
There's loads I want to take a look at if I can, but I'm really excited about Kyle Kinane's show.
8. If you took over programming a venue, what would you perfect line-up of comedians be?
I'd have on Dave Allen, Greg Davies, Dave Chappelle and Richard Pryor. They're my favourites and all of them offer such different options and opinions on life, it would be incredible to see them on a line-up together.
9. Name the one person you'd rather not bump into during the festival.
Anyone I'm a massive fan of. I don't know how to handle meeting my heroes and it would probably send me into a meltdown. If any of Michael Jackson, Malcolm X, Arnold Schwarzenegger or Pryor (what kind of fucked up hero list is this?) rocked up to that festival I just cannot...
Any of those guys, or some kind of jungle cat. I wouldn't like that on the streets of Edinburgh.
10. Why should audiences pick your show over the 1,700+ other comedy offerings at this year's festival?
Equal opportunities init! No, really, because it's a good show with lots of laughs and intricate little stories woven in. And if people come, I won't be forced to eat a Batman birthday cake every night in the dark because of the shame of having no one turn up. If they can live with that...
'Archie Maddocks Ain't Got No Behaviour' is at 8:30pm at Cowgatehead on 8-17, 19-29 August. Listing