- Sunday 19th January 2020, 3:32am [Edited]
- United Kingdom
- 7,730 posts
I am now listening to Radio Caroline as they have gone on to the Ross Revenge radio ship in conjunction with Manx Radio to broadcast from there this weekend. If I win the lottery, I intend to set up a pirate radio station on an abandoned sea fort in the Medway. Next I will combine it with a small affordable hotel for wedding receptions. There will be boat tours for the guests to view modern seals living on the Eastern seaboard and a wide range of historical oil refinery infrastructure.
If successful, I will then turn the entire Brighton Marina area predominantly into a Caribbean theme park with a radio station playing tropicalia. No one will be able to walk there or indeed talk there in the normal way. They will have to sign a document on the way in agreeing not to talk. The experience will involve (A) hopping through a network of a thousand promenade turntables - in effect circles of spinning concrete alongside the sea - while listening to the tunes played by the DJs and (B) simultaneously doing the limbo under variously low environmentally biodegradable beams in the sun.
Finally, my third venture, Cheering London Radio, will seek to enable Londoners to think of their city in an entirely different way. All the presenters will sound Canadian. There will be a constant diet of upbeat songs from the 20th Century. There won't be any news, weather or travel reports or any descriptions of London as it is. Instead, they will refer to the seafront at Fleet Street and the conditions there, discuss the lambing they saw on the moorlands when coming in on the Old Kent Road and have guests describing how they are going to scale the range of mountains from Camden to Hackney. I have already finalised the schedule. The maps will also have been done once I've drawn in the snowscapes, deserts and forests.
What is important is that nobody thinks it is coming from something solid like a building and a studio so I'm working on various station taglines. "From the yacht of mystery in a space beyond the highest rooftops" "Brought to you by just one solitary bird flying way above the crowds". That sort of thing. Oh yes. And all of the jingles will sound like the Beach Boys.